(Closed) How do you get hurtful words out of your heart?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

You don’t. You leave.

Post # 18
Member
9966 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Words can be every bit as damaging as blows; in my experience sometimes they can be worse, in a way.  Bruises heal but those hurtful words said by someone you love can rattle around in your heart and mind for a long time, causing fresh pain with every memory. 

My love language is “words of affirmation” so I’m particularly sensitive to hurtful words.  Healing takes time.  Every time his hurtful words return to your mind tell yourself he was wrong and that he lied to you.

He is abusive; marrying him is not a wise decision.  I’m so sorry.  Counseling can help you through this.

Post # 19
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

He’s telling you he doesn’t and won’t love you, and he means every word, and every act of it, so LISTEN to him. Do the two of you a favor and just try to make a clean break. Marriage isn’t about abuse and charades, and you deserve better than a life full of doubt and sadness. 

Post # 20
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m sorry bee, but if you marry him he will continue to fight dirty and say awful things to you when he’s mad. I couldn’t stand for someone to think so little of me that they would attempt to hurt me like that, even when we’re fighting. The worst my BF has ever said was that I was being annoying about an issue we were disagreeing about. Then he apologized and we talked it out. Don’t let this treatment of you become normal and acceptable.

Post # 21
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Nope.  Nope nope nope.  That’s bad news bears.

Post # 22
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

Dump him. This is horrible. Completely and totally unacceptable. 

Post # 23
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

There is a reason he has been engaged 3 times and married once, run don’t walk out the door he is laying the groundwork for your future and it looks bleak you deserve much better. Best of luck and don’t settle.

Post # 24
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@ Halo094   perfectly said.

 

run bee, this won’t ‘change’ and will likely get worse. You do not want this for the rest of your life. Every one deserves to be lifted up by their husband not the other way around.

Post # 25
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

This guy is an abusive asshole and likely always will be. Sounds like he wants you to be Victim #3, and I’d leave him so fast his head would spin if I were you. Life is waaaaaay too short for that shit! 

Post # 26
Member
10549 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

He is a human meat sack. Leave him.

Post # 27
Member
6989 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

The very best way to get over a terrible man is to dump him and build an extraordinarily happy life without him. If he’s been engaged multiple times and already married once before and he’s under 30 like a PP said it is very likely him and not you with the issues here.

If outright dumping him is too hard for you, you can start filling other areas of your life with things that make you deeply happy and boost your confidence and sense of self and then you will look up one day and realize that there’s no longer room in your life for him and you can tell him to kick rocks.

Post # 28
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@ annamarie92   This is not solely about forgiveness this is a line of truly standing up for your worth. These are the types of things that never leave you.  

Post # 29
Member
3088 posts
Sugar bee

You don’t get past it. You dump him and find a kinder and better man (especially if he isn’t even your husband yet). This is not a slip up. He said some really cruel shyt and this ain’t his first rodeo with you.

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