(Closed) How do you get your man to help out?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

Opposite situation in my household lol.  Mr. Meowerson keeps our place spic and span, while I hide from household chores!

Post # 4
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We have specific chores & responsibilites, and we literally “assigned” each other.

For example my daily chores are: emptying the drying rack & dishwasher, and his is taking out the trash.

Another daily rule, is whoever gets home first feeds the dog & gives her fresh water.

Our roles after work are I cook & he cleans. I like this because we don’t have to discuss “who feels like cooking” b/c he knows I will, and I know he will clean up after.  

Post # 5
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We sat down and talked about division of labor before we moved in together. We are both adults and both work so there is no excuse for one person to feel hard done by doing a few chores.

Some things are flexible. Whoever is last out of bed, makes it. If there is laundry to be done, we throw in a load.

Time to sit down with him for a heart to heart about living together and sharing the load.

Post # 6
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Post-it note reminders – everywhere!

Post # 7
Member
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve been fortunate that my Fiance, who lives with me, and I are both clean freaks to the same level.  It came about spontaneously that we both pitch in almost equally.  I love that I don’t have to ask him to help out – he just does it.  However, if he didn’t, I would say something.  It isn’t fair for one person to be overly burdened with all of the household chores and responsibilities.  Have you tried discussing it with him in a calm, rational way?  Also, one thing I’ve noticed in my case is that I praise him a lot for helping out, and never criticize the way he does anything even if I would do it a little differently.  Being positive seems to help perpetuate his good behavior, lol.  But I feel for you.  I would definitely talk to him about this.

Post # 8
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I sat down and had an honest and frank conversation with him. I told him that the days when I go to college I dont want to come home and have to tidy up,do the dishes,laundry and tidy up after him on top of work I had brought home from college. Luckily, he is quite easy to talk to and listesn well so that was all it took. I have to remind him every few months or so though,because eventually it sips his mind or he gets carried away with other stuff, like the xbox or working out. I just honeslty ask him if he could help me out because I get overwhelmed and then cant keep up with laundry etc.

Post # 10
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

we divided up responsibilities – I do laundry, he takes care of the trash and yard, etc.

Post # 11
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

He works on other (more manly) things, just not all the time and when he doesnt, i have to keep up with the chores myself. 

Seriously i was doing a load of laundry every other day… for TWO people.  So i divided our clothes…i was down to one load a week.  I now just command him to do laundry while he watches TV.  Hes got the wake up call. 

Post # 11
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

A sit-down conversation is key. It’s best to assess your personal strengths and delegate tasks based on those; for example, in my household I’m not a great cook and don’t deal well with “gross” messes (like the cat box or bathroom) so Fiance is in charge of that. He is terrible at picking up in general and can’t clean a dish to save his life, so I take care of that. We both help with the laundry.

It doesn’t always work perfectly, but it’s way better than the first year we lived together when the house would be a gigantic wreck ALL the time.

Post # 11
Member
1550 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t know….your man needs a wake up call though!

My husband is pretty diligent and driven–he loves doing household chors. He does most of “mine” before I even get the opportunity to do them.

Post # 12
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

IT took some converstations, but generally we just split up the chores each day or week.  IE on Sat we will spend 1 hour together cleaning and we will split what needs to be done.

All we need to do now is ask each other. But we are sure to ask nicely and calmy. No nagging etc. We make sure to tell each other “I will do this when I am back from the gym” so we know when the other person is planning to do it, so if its not done ASAP it doesnt require nagging or reminding.

 

Post # 13
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it can be a good idea to split small chores (i.e. I feed the dog every day, you take out the trash) and then set a time and day for the larger more time consuming ones, so that you’ll both be doing them at that time (Saturdays at 11.00 you clean bedroom/bathrooms while I clean kitchen/living room) 

And no nagging! 

Post # 14
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We split ours up pretty equally.  I dust, he vacuums, we both do laundry, whoever gets home first cooks dinner, the other does the dishes and we take turns between the bathroom and the kitchen.  If he’s being a bumpkin on the couch, I sigh heavily quite often, he usually gets it.  lol

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