(Closed) How do you guys do it!?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

My boyfriend’s timeframe was very similar (AKA completely vague!)

I just try to enjoy every second we have together (we’re long distance and see each ohter once a month so it’s different).

I realized that I hated the woman I had become harping on about engagements etc etc. I was boring, I was nagging. I was miserable.

I decided instead to focus on making myself into the best self I could be. I started working out more, I’m reading books for pleasure and dabbling in hobbies that I love. I’ve started trying my hand at cooking and baking and I’m planning our upcoming anniversary trip.

Get involved in hobbies that you love, go out with your girlfriends, go for walks, go hiking, read books, write books. Whatever you do don’t sit around and brood!!

Post # 4
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

talking about it often can really work against you, so kudos to you for keeping it shut for 2 months. im not sure if you looked over the sticky threads, mr bees plan is pretty helpful.

 

 

 

its never easy to wait, theres no secret to not losing your sanity in this limbo stage, you just do it because its all you can do. its accepting a lack of control, especially if proposing to him is not an option, and hes more of a traditional guy.

 

 

 

if you two are on the same page about engagement im sure your time will come eventually. in in the meantime it wouldnt hurt to pick up a hobby or 2..

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Get off the bee!

 

Seriously though, being on here would only make me obsess about it more.  He’s given you a vague timeframe, so until you have something more definite, I would just suggest enjoying the life you have now, appreciating this stage where you are his girlfriend.  Be loving toward him and encouraging toward him.  If he’s open to marriage, then he will get there!  Guys like to do things on their own time.

 

I’d suggest also spending more time with your girlfriends.  That’s what they are there for, to knock your crazy down and get your mind off of things!

 

Your time will come, good luck!

Post # 7
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

What kind of books do you enjoy?I’d suggest joining goodreads dot com. You can rate books you’ve read and it suggests new books for you! I always have a pulse on the newest and hottest books before they get great because of that site and as a result people at work are always checking out what I’m reading or look for suggestions.

If you haven’t already read Game of Thrones you should if you’re into fantasy (I’m re-re-re-reading them now)!

Battle Royale by Koushun Takami is another book I’d highly recommend if you liked Hunger Games and the ilk. If you enjoyed Hunger Game another YA dystopian read I’d suggest is Divergent. Another crazy good fanasy series that’s a quick read is His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman.

If you like police procedurals my favorite author in that category is Michael Connelly’s Heironymous Bosch series.

Mysteries that are exotic in locale I’d always suggest Sujata Massey’s Rei Shimura series about a half-Japanese, half-American woman who lives in Japan and keeps stumbling on mysteries.

Science fiction I have to go with classics! “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” is one. Frank Herbert’s Dune series and of course Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series is amazing too.

If you enjoy comic books you’ll probably love Neil Gaiman’s works. If you haven’t checked out his “Sandman” graphic novel you are in for a treat. China Mieville is another.

Historical mysteries I’m always going to suggest one of my favorite’s Anne Perry’s Thomas and Charlotte Pitt series (he’s a detective in Victorian age who dabbles in crimes that are committed in the highest of society).

My favorite book to recommend has to be The Passage by Justin Cronin. It’s about a virus that causes people to become these vampire/zombie creatures and the people trying to stop it. It is absolutely breath-taking!

Post # 8
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SparklyBadger:  We’ve been dating 2+ years and I’ve lost my mind regarding this topic about a year in :-p  I’m good at shutting up about it only around 50% of the time, but in my defense my Boyfriend or Best Friend loves to talk about it to get a rise out of me when he can tell I’m trying to resist the urge.

 

One thing that I started doing several months back to distract myself is to focus on bettering myself. I know that sounds stupid and cliche and I’d heard the advice a million times before I decided to take it……*but* it has been very beneficial both on a personal and relationship level.

 

For starters, I got myself back into “fighting shape”: tanned, (semi)toned, and started getting my hair done again.  I began getting all of the large tattoo pieces I’ve been wanting and started doing a better job with making myself up everyday instead of just on weekends.  I used to be “on point” like that prior to us dating, but kind of got comfortable in the past year and let myself go a bit. That alone did alot with for my confidence: I went from “I wish he’d marry me” to “LOOK at me! How could he NOT want to marry me???” πŸ˜‰  My SO absolutely took notice as well, and I can tell he appreciates having the “old” me back.

 

In addition, I’ve really gotten more into my hobbies/side jobs I’d let fall by the wayside.  I’ve started crafting and painting again, baking again and professionally doing makeup again (I now have a budding side business with both πŸ™‚ Recently, I asked SO what he likes about me and he said “you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, I never knew you were so good at so many things!” Now, he’s obviously playing it up a bit to be sweet, but I think the sentiment is the same: working on myself has made me more desirable to him as a mate πŸ™‚

 

I know thats alot of info, but it’s been enough to keep me busy and getting engaged off of my mind….sort of πŸ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@littlemissbossy:  

@SparklyBadger:  

 

I really do think there is something to it, and I’m ticked at myself I didnt take that advice from others sooner!

Post # 12
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

@SparklyBadger:  Hi! How long have you guys been together? What about him makes you desire to marry him? Have you brought this to him? If so, how?

Post # 13
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@DreamingofDiamonds:  +1   if I were really going crazy I would get off this website.  its too easy to empathize with the other bees and start up those feelings and questions like when is he gonna do it?  why is he taking his sweet ass time? etc

Post # 14
Member
7220 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@SparklyBadger:  Personally, I think the Bee helps me. It gives me an outlet for crazy wedding thoughts. I can help other people when they are planning their weddings. I can talk about the struggles of waiting. I can encourage other bees to enjoy the moment (and therefore remind myself to do the same!). But it does do the opposite for some bees, so just know yourself. 

Post # 15
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Jen-in-GA:  Exactly!  I feel like it would just feed my obsession!  Can you imagine being on here for a couple years anticipating it’s going to happen?  I would have to shoot myself at some point because I would have gone mad.

 

Now that I know it’s coming soon though, this website is a lifesaver.  Prevents me from bugging him about it because I can bug you guys πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@badabing88:  I so need to do more for myself! I can tell when SO starts to miss me if I’m working and not spending enough time with him when he texts me & says he misses me (even though we sleep next to each other and see each other every day) and says we need to do something nice. I’m going to throw myself into working out even more because I love it and I feel so much better doing it! Thank you for your advice!

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