Post # 1
Now that the wedding is so close (within 2 months), the exciting things are starting to happen – showers, bachelorette, and of course the wedding day.
But I’ve always hated being the center of attention. I never had parties thrown for me and I always get so scared of making an etiquette blunder or saying something stupid simply because I am not comfortable with all eyes on me.
I also realized I was having a hard time letting others throw these parties without feeling guilty about the effort they had to put forth. My Maid/Matron of Honor is organizing my bachelorette and finally she said to let her handle it (in a nice way). I suppose I came across as trying to help plan or even micromanaging, but my intentions behind were to simply offer help. I’m not particular and I know she’ll plan something totally awesome. But it’s like I feel bad for all the work people are helping with because I see how busy they are as well.
How did you balance being gracious and offering help without trying to pitch in too much or feeling guilty?
Post # 3
Oh, I feel the same way. I’ve even offered to pay for the bachelorette party myself (My bridesmaids are unemployed students! They shouldn’t have to dish out money for a party for me!), they refuse. They just give me looks of disgust when I offer. LOL.
I’ve offered to bring food to the shower, yea… none of that is happening. No one will let me touch anything.
I have no idea how I’ll handle any of the attention. I just don’t think people should make a fuss over me!
Post # 4
@.twist.: Agreed. I think it’s hard for people who aren’t used to that kind of attention. I actually think I’ll handle being up front at the ceremony better because it’s more formal. It’s what you do – stand up and say your vows.
I’m having a hard time with all the time and effort people are putting forth just because they care, and I want to make sure they know how much I appreciate it, and I don’t want to ever come across as greedy or demanding.
I also tend to overthink things and am working on that character flaw lol.
Post # 5
I was totally the same way, usually I am the one who throws the parties for someone else. And I hate all the attn. Honestly you just really grin and bear it, you are so busy on your wedding day that you hardly notice that the attn is on you and your Fiance.
Post # 6
I offered to make cupcakes for my shower because my sister is overwhelmed with personal things and I didn’t mind. I also put together the favours we gave out at the shower and made some punch…no biggies!
I can’t help but plan and my sister knows this. I do the event planning at work, and I’m always planning parties so I just can’t help it! lol
I always made sure to thank her and my mom for everything they’ve done (and will do) and my Future Mother-In-Law too. I made sure to be very gracious to our guests, and not to make it all about me (even though it is of course lol.)
Post # 7
I had the hardest time letting the girls just do the work, run the errands, and finish my vision. I am so blessed with long time, drama free besties. The last two days they just said – sit, relax, go to the pool, take a nap- we got it covered, and they did. But it was really hard to let go—
Post # 8
All the Attention on me? YIKES!!! I am not looking forward to it. Im not Very shy but when EVERYONE is watching, like you said, im scared im going to say something really stupid, and i usually turn bright red. I have been having nightmares about being in front of everyone that last couple weeks. One, i was at my bridal shower and had a panic attack (i have had panic attacks before but not recently) and was rushed to the hospistal… stupid right! I woke up and was totally freaked out, but i dont think it will happen, most of the people there will be family and i have nothing to panic over, but i might take a pill on that day just in case 🙂
With helping, i try not to get in the way, im leaving the extra parties and stuff to the Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister) and other family members. They know im busy planning evertyhting for the actual wedding day.
DOnt feel guilty, it sounds like they got it handled, you just focus on what YOU need to do 🙂 Its just nice to offer the help…
Post # 9
I hate attention and feel guilty for people doing so much for me. I can completely relate. I just have to remind myself that I would do the same for them and I enjoy having a reason to throw a party or give a gift, so maybe they do to. Either way, I am slowly working on being comfortable, although I kept my wedding on the small side (50) to make the day more bearable.
Post # 10
@HeatherShane: I didn’t even think of that. I turn all shades of red and SO easily too! LOL.
Post # 11
It freaks me out, on a daily basis the closer and closer we get.
I honestly didnt ever consider my anxiety or think how shy i can be at times. I dont even mention showers or anything to my bmaids, because honestly I dont want one. The very thought of being the center of attention freaks me out. But I do love a small intimate group. So I’ve already hinted at my mom that is what I would prefer if they still go forward with planning one! lol We shall see, I’m her only daughter, so I doubt small/intimate will be possible.
Post # 12
I don’t like being the center of attention either. And when I had my showers and parties, it was weird to open up presents. I mean, they bought these things for me just because I’m getting married. I decided not to be awkward about it and just enjoy the moment and friendship! It was hard not to say, “Oh you didn’t have to do that!” or “Can I help you clean up?!” But believe me, this is the last time that will ever happen anyway… so take advantage 🙂