Post # 1
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
This is a little bit of a spin-off of the thread that discussed how much time you spend together on weekends…
Looking at the calendar, I feel like DH and I will be going non-stop from now until about mid-October due to a variety of commitments and plans and it’s just exhausting me to look at. It isn’t like every single weekend we are booked every single day of every hour BUT there are literally maybe 2 weekends that are completely open and that’s it. Some of the things we have going on are together, some are separate, some are just a single Saturday or Sunday but still… its kind of depressing see how many weekend we don’t have to just spend a good quality weekend together the entire weekend.
So my question – During busy periods in life, how often do you try to have a weekend exclusively for just you and your significant other? Is it important to you that you take a moment and say hold up, we need some time to ourselves? Do you have a routine you stick to ensure you get good quality time together when you are busy? Regular date nights, a weekend getaway?
DH and I value our time together after it seems like we go and go and go. However, we do struggle with not feeling bad when we say “no” to some things. We have zero issue saying no, and usually the other party doesn’t make us feel bad or give us trouble but its just us overthinking it like are we bad to take a minute for us..?
Wondering if its just us or if other bees have super busy periods and forget to stop and smell the roses with your SO or family? I think we sometimes take the time we have together for granted and just assume we’ll always have another open day or another open weekend, when in reality you aren’t guaranteed that.
Post # 2
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
You sound like us! My husband and I always say “we should do that the next weekend we have free” and then the other will say “So about May 2022?” We are super busy people in general. He is going back to school to get his MBA at night, I play various sports multiple times a week, add in family and friend get together’s and we are swamped!
Right now we try to do a date night once a week. Usually Wednesday’s are open, so we consider that date night. We say no to everything else that night and sometimes we go out and sometimes we just cook a really good meal at home. Either way, the phones go off and we just get to enjoy each other’s company. We also try to sneak in the little times to spend together. Like we workout at the same gym in the mornings, or he will either sub on my volleyball team or come and watch me play if he is at home. Sometimes we just come home and sit on the patio for an hour after work and just talk before we go our separate ways! The key is to seriously focus on each other in those little snippets as we get them. To talk about what’s going on, check in on the marriage and just really enjoy each other.
I will say the biggest pain when we are busy is keeping the house clean! He works from home a lot, and he is a huge help with laundry and dishes and stuff like that when he is home. I try to keep the clutter picked up in 5-15 min increments when I get home and before I go to bed, and then on the night that he has class I will deep clean one room in the house, just because we are so busy on the weekends! It’s been working out pretty good, since I started a month ago. Before that the house was a complete wreck!
Post # 3
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
I feel this too! I got this text from my boyfriend this morning (we went out rock climbing last night and by the time we got home it was 1am. He has to work earlier than me):
“Hope this text wakes you up if you’re still sleeping.I had so much fun last night and I only wish we didn’t have to work today so we could have stayed up to drink beers, have sex and chat away. I love you.”
We have so many fun weekends booked with fun things, but they are often with our friends. Quality one on one time exists, but is definitely less than when we started dating. We’ll throw in errand running now (woohoo, quality time at Costco).
He plays baseball three times a week, including every Sunday, so it’s hard to get a WHOLE weekend together. We love being outside, so we usually end up hiking or rock climbing on the Saturday. I am torn because I want a Saturday to lay in bed and just have sex and nap all afternoon, BUT THEN we miss out on a cool hike or rock climb.
I have no suggestions. We actually tried not to schedule anything for August and are going to try to take weekends as they come, but we just got invited to a cabin for the August long and said yes haha.
Good luck!
Post # 4
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
Sunshine024 : Thankfully our weeknights aren’t TOO hectic, but that comes in waves. Seems like we have a week of business between errands or maybe a family dinner with parents/grandparents then the next week we have nothing to do and are bored. Of course its funny when we aren’t busy we’re like “Sooooo what do we do now?”
Good idea on the date night. We used to be bad about it but are getting better. I flat out told DH that I know we need to watch our spending BUT we can afford to go out at least once a month for a date night. I’m hoping we stick to this at least. We also make it a point to sit down at least once during the week to watch a TV show or two together and have a good home cooked meal that isn’t a frozen pizza or grilled cheese.
I absolutely also want to get better about being on our phones. It doesn’t bother us if we’re sitting on the porch on our phones together BUT it would probably be super beneficial and positive if we just put them down for 15-20 minutes or longer and talked to each other. LOL.
minnewanka : Aww that was a sweet text! I appreciate that you can relate to the business, haha. We feel bad missing out on some fun things too with friends and family which is partly also why we’re so bad at just us time.
The business comes in waves but I almost can’t wait for fall to be here.
Post # 5
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
I was definitely like this in college. I was in school full time, worked a ton, babysat, interned and was on my exec board in college. Honestly I’m way less busy now than I was then!!
Back then I just made time to spend just me and my boyfriend now husband. It’s great being married and living together so you don’t have to carve out as much time.
I do think it’s really important to take a short weekend trip or just relax the two of you when needed to rest and spend some quality time together. Everyone deserves a break!