Post # 1
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
I work in a pretty small office – about 10 other people that I interact with regularly. We are friendly but don’t hang out outside of work – we’ve gotten a drink together after work maybe 4? times in a year. In particular, I work right next to one co-worker, our desks are like 2 feet apart. So we are friendly and we do talk about our personal lives at work.
I’m having a small wedding and wasn’t planning on inviting any of them. If I did, it would probably only be the person I work next to, but I think it’d be extra awkward to only invite one.
Because of the no invites, I don’t bring up wedding planning at all at at work – I would think it’s rude to talk about it in front of people who aren’t invited. The problem is, they all KNOW that I’m getting married and so they all ask me how planning is going! I try to keep my answers pretty short, but I still feel like I talk about my wedding all the time because they keep asking!
I know they are just nice and interested in my life… but it makes me feel extra guilty to not invite them. Will they think I’m a jerk for not inviting them? How do you answer people’s well-meaning questions?
(FWIW, if any of them were getting married, I wouldn’t be insulted to not get an invite. But that’s me).
Post # 3
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Let them know it’s coming up fast and that you can’t wait to enjoy an intimate wedding with your family. That should get the point across. It’s smart that you try to avoid wedding planning and wedding talk at work.
Post # 4
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I think you’re overthinking this. They’re probably asking partially to be polite/make conversation rather than genuine interest.
Like PP said, slip it into conversation how you’re having a very small wedding.
One of my coworkers got married like a year ago, and I’d talk to her about the wedding, but I never expected to be invited, and didn’t give it a second thought when I wasn’t. Another coworker got married more recently.. I didn’t even know she got married until we went for dinner one day months after lol.
I find weddings to be very intimate occasions and honestly I’d feel a bit awkward being invited to a coworker’s wedding unless I was super close with the person. Out of the office I’ve worked at for 5 years, I’d probably be ok with going to 2 peoples’ weddings.
Post # 5
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
@batbrain: I would use their questions as an opportunity to convey the intimate nature of your wedding so they won’t be surprised when they aren’t invited. And I agree with what others have said, they are probably just trying to be polite and make conversation by asking about what’s going on in your life.
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