How do you handle drama at work?

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
3712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m a teacher so I work within a department of 7 other women. A few years ago there was drama and I just had to keep to myself and realize socialization at that point wasn’t going to be a priority until the pettiness went away. Our group is now in s better place, but you just have to keep conversations work related and refuse to talk to people about other people. Like  you’ve witnessed words have a way of being twisted. Keep your head down and focus on your work. 

Post # 3
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Why are you saying *negative* things about one co-worker to another co-worker? Just don’t do it. You’re upset because you got caught gossiping. 

Post # 4
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I also work with all women doing pretty stressful work and things will sometimes get tense. When that happens we have a talking circle and figure it out. We are a close knit group though and I think everyone has to be open to it for that to work. 

Post # 5
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

armywifetobe :  what are the things you say that get back to the person? Could people think you are always bitching about coworkers?

Post # 8
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

armywifetobe :  what type of things were said that someome took the wrong way? There’s  A LOT of drama in my workplace. Its the first place I’ve ever been able to compare to high school. At my job we just all have our own group of coworkers where we’re closer and others have theirs but if it’s work related you speak for that and nothing more. Like no opinions or judgements being said to those people. 

Post # 9
Member
14 posts
Newbee

My last job was a lot like high school. I would grab lunch with 3-4 other people in the office and I was shocked at the things they were saying about other people. It rarely even had anything to do with work. There was a lot of “Ugh, she’s so ugly. Does she ever look in a mirror before she leaves in the morning” or “I really hate his personality. I can’t understand why the manager hired him.” One time someone left for a new position and after his last day, it was like a department bashing…. “I’m not going to miss him at all.” “Didn’t anyone ever teach him how to dress?” One of my coworkers was having a party and it was very hush hush because she didn’t want the people she didn’t like to hear about it. Just a really gross environment.

I’ve learned to just not socialize with coworkers. I don’t get lunch with them, or go to happy hour. I never say a bad thing about anyone else. If someone starts insulting someone else, I just stop them. Say that hasn’t been my experience with someone, defend them, change the subject, etc. Just keep your head down and focus on your work. Don’t even worry about your coworkers. I’m sure my coworkers are shit talking me too and I don’t give a flying…you get the picture. tongue-out

 

 

Post # 10
Member
4993 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

This is the worst. I’ve worked in a few environments with other women (groups of 10+) and there’s always been a bad apple or two who would love to twist someone’s words and make drama. I learned to decipher who the gossips were and avoided them. If things really get out of hand or you feel someone is saying something about you then you’ll have to stand up for yourself and go up to that person and tell them straight out that they are twisting your words and you don’t appreciate it. You have to let people know that you won’t put up with bad behavior. Assertiveness is key in these situations/work dynamic. Gl. 

Post # 11
Member
4856 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Healthcare is vicious. I no longer play nice. Call people out, respectfully about their behaviour. Do not take even the slightest bit of shit from anyone. They don’t grow up, things don’t get better, the best you can do is make it clear you are not the one to cross. Sad as that is….

Post # 12
Member
4608 posts
Honey bee

How long have you worked there, with this group specifically, and what exactly is it that makes you think you are/were friends?  Do you go to happy hour together?  Make plans after work for dinner or movies?  Invite each other over to your house for BBQs and Superbowl parties?  Know each other’s spouses and children?

Depending on the answer to those questions, my best guess is that you are confusing being friendly with being friends.  They are not the same thing.  Unless you are actually friends with them, you should limit the things you say to appropriate professional conversation and understand that anything you say at work should not have the expectation of privacy.

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