How do you handle finances? Split.. joint..?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
5876 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Once we got married, we combined everything.  It works for us and, IMO, makes sense in most married couples.  If we had tension around our discretionary spending, we would do an allowance.  That would mean we would give $xx per month into seperate accounts that we could each use for spending in pre-agreed upon categories.  However, the isn’t a problem for us so we just keep it all joint.

ONe thing to keep in mind is that if going all joint feels like too big of a leap right off the bat, you can get there gradually.  You may start by doing a joint budget, then by creating a combined account for household expenses, and on and on until everything is joint.  It doesn’t necessareily have to happen over night.  The big thing is to make sure that you are talking about money, are open, and are on the same page.

 

Post # 17
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

We have a joint checking account that we use for most purchases, including mortgage and other household things, dinners out together, etc. We also have a joint savings account that is savings for things for the house, trips, etc. Then we each maintain (smaller) personal checking accounts that we use for discretionary spending, we each have (smaller) savings accounts for personal expenses and/or splurges. We maintain a joint credit card (travel points) and each have our own personal CCs (though we really should pay those off and put them away). 

This works for us for now, if I’m ever at the point where I’m staying home with our children, we may need to reevaluate/

Post # 18
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We have joint accounts for everything. We discuss purchases and make decisions together if we can afford them at the time or not.

It would be hard to classify what is “personal spending” if we had seperate accounts for that. I certainly didn’t WANT to buy a John Deere lawn mower, but the grass needs to be cut – and a bunch of other tools needed to be purchased to maintain our new house. On the other hand, my Darling Husband might not care about the bedding in the master – so would that go on my personal spending acoount, or is that a house hold expense? 

I completely agree with anthonyswife  – It makes you a stronger couple to combine everything – Encourages communication and openness. 

Post # 19
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We’ve been married for almost a year and made our accounts joint about 2 months ago. We had them separate because we never got around to combining them, but we always were sending each other money to pay for credit cards, etc. Its so much easier when its joint. We do have separate credit cards but we are very honest with the balances and pay them off regularly. We are hoping to have a joint credit card soon and cancel our separate cards.

Post # 20
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

zzar45 :  Online food shops? Not sure what you mean? like Grocery Gateway?

It’s not that bad – we usually only go to the grocery store once a week, so four grocery bills a month and the repeating stuff, internet bill, hydro, etc. We tend to buy a lot of the same stuff every week when we grocery shop, so I can really quickly circle his/my individual items and then i just subtract it off the total.

Darling Husband is also SUPER against automatic payments, there have been some instances here in Ontario of people having direct payment for their hydro bill or internet bill and then they get slammed with a (usually incorrect) bill of $2000 when their normal bill is like $120/month and the company takes the money out of their account and they have to fight to get it back. Usually gets news coverage whenever it happens and the company inevitably pays the customer back.

He seems to think it will happen to him and they’ll take all his money and he’ll have to fight to get it back. Not a problem for me since I never keep more money than needed in those accounts 😉 

Post # 21
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

We had joint everything before we were even engaged, we did it when we moved in together. When we purchased our home we were still dating, everything for that was joint as well.

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who I couldn’t trust.

Post # 23
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

lostinparadise19 :  this sounds like a business, not a marriage. That’s insane 

 

We we have joint everything. 

Post # 24
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

mrscb2bee :  Again, what works for each couple is determed by THEM. You think it’s a “business” is  not really a comment that needs to be said. It’s quite rude, in fact. If we’re gonna call relationships “business”, what do you think the paperwork is that you sign when you get married?! It’s not about love!

Post # 25
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

kmmq72 :  if he wants to be secretive in gift buying, hit the ATM and pay cash for it

Post # 26
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

nicoleivy2004 :  Most people don’t decide to get married for business reasons. They get married because they love each other. The legality of it is to protect each person in case of divorce because the couple will inevitably grow and acquire more things together. 

Post # 27
Member
14 posts
Newbee

We have had our own accounts and have 1 joint that we put household bills into. It wasn’t really working for us because one would put more into the joint than the other, we would forget to put money in it, etc. We just moved into a new place and got new jobs and decided we are going to be using the joint as our main thing now and get our direct deposits into that.

Post # 28
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

kmmq72 :  after we got married we went joint… before getting married we split everything down the middle.

Post # 29
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

mrscb2bee :  I didnt realize my marriage was going to be classified as a business simply because of the way we handle our finances. How nice of you to judge me.

Perhaps you’d feel differently if you’d been burned by a past SO spending your money without your consent and leaving you thousands of dollars in debt when the relationship ended? Yeah, I think you would.

Post # 30
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

 mrscb2bee :  Yes, so the legal paperwork is for “business” purposes. The fact still stands that you don’t need to come across so judgemental and rude just because someone does things differently than you. Don’t minimize their relationship.

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