(Closed) How do you handle holidays?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
3942 posts
Honey bee

We travel to 3 states (in 1 day) for Christmas so we can spend time with both families. It sucks. When we have kids we wont be doing that anymore.

Post # 4
1029 posts
Bumble bee

The first year we lived together we had Christmas just the two of us. We saw my parents at the beginning of December, and his between Christmas and New Years.

Since then, we’ve done alternate families.

On 23rd we go to one family, and stay there until the 27th/28th. Then we go to the next family and stay there until the 2nd Jan.

My family create a ‘fake’ Christmas for us in the years that we’re not there, so we have 2 Christmas days! His family aren’t that good at entertaining…

I must stress, though, that there are a total of 6 people in my family – myself included – so it’s not a big deal to create a ‘fake’ Christmas.

If we see them in early December, we buy £1 presents for each person, sit in a circle and all open them one by one. It’s so fun to see how creative we can all get on such a small budget! It’s great fun 🙂

Post # 5
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re going to do every other holiday with each family. It’s very hard, but I hope that if I get over it now, it will be less stressful when kids come.

I seriously wish our families would travel to us once for a holiday.

Post # 6
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We were just discussing how we were going to handle holidays now that we’re married and live 2.5 hours away from our hometown.  So far, we’ve decided they’re going to go as follows:

  • Thanksgiving:  His parent’s house.
  • Easter:  My parent’s house.
  • Christmas:  Christmas eve will be spent with my family (they have a big party every year and DH’s family doesn’t), and we’re going to alternate each year as to where we spend the night.  This year, we’re waking up Christmas morning with my family, and spending the evening with his; Next year we’re waking up Christmas morning with his family, and spending the evening with mine.

It seems like this is the best way to go about it until we have kids.

Post # 7
8031 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@hogoboom2012:  Right now it works quite well because his parents/sister live in another country, so we just go to my mom’s or host at our place.

Neither of us have big families… it’s just the immediate parents/siblings.

I think in the future we’ll be traveling to the UK to stay w. his parents for Xmas, but it won’t be this year so who knows.

With my ex we’d spend Xmas Eve w. one family and Xmas Day with the other. I think as long as there’s some sort of compromise it doesn’t really matter how you do it. You could alternate years or holidays.. do a make-up Xmas or whatever on a different day… many options.

Post # 8
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We switch back and forth between Thanksgiving and Xmas. We live in FL, as does his parents, my family is in NY.  When we go to NY for Xmas his parents throw a fake Christmas.  This year we will stay for both, because we are supposed to go for thanksgiving in NY but we have a wedding there 2 weeks before, but my dad is coming down for Xmas and my mom will visit in early December.  We are going to host Christmas Eve.

It does make me a little sad because I have a big family up there and down here it is normally just us, his parents and grandma and can sorta feel just like any other get together, especially with Thanksgiving. My family also eats a lot more which caused an issue last year when I got angry hungry waiting for dinner at his parents because they don’t believe in h’or dourves (creative spelling there).  This year I am putting myself in charge of them to avoid that scenario again!


We agreed that we will probably stop travelling, especially for Xmas, once we have children.  Don’t want future kids to be worried that santa doesn’t know where they are 🙂

Post # 9
3351 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

My family is really close, but his family is 2 hours away. We just alternate who we see each year for each holday. Thanksgiving this year will be with his parents, Christmas will be with mine. Next year is switched around.

Post # 10
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I handle the holidays with Bailey’s and spiked egg nog.

Post # 11
3942 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@Torrid:  Dr. Mcgillicuddy (spelling?) usually makes an apperance at our holiday parties. It’s actually just a family joke now, asking if the Dr. is invited.

Post # 12
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

We have to pick and choose. Thankfully my family is WAY more flexible and we’ll often celebrate Thanksgiving on the Saturday after the actual day and for Christmas, we’ll do it on the weekend nearest (if Eve and Day don’t fall on a weekend). This year I will be pregnant and that’s going to make it harder.

Post # 13
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For Thanksgiving we go to his Mom’s house (my family doesn’t really do anything, or really it isn’t the whole family)

Christmas we try to hit all of the celebrations (His sister’s on x-mas eve, my parents on christmas day, a larger family gathering in my family sometime near x-mas….)  Last Christmas we spent 12 hours in two days driving in a car, but it was worth it to see everyone!  

Easter has been my families gathering.  

Most of my family gatherings are 1.5-3 hours away, and his are 3-3.5 hours away.  One of these Christmases  I might demand that everyone come to me.  I will clean, cook, entertain; but I will not drive!  

Post # 14
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@Bostongrl25:  The biggest question asked at our respective families’ houses is:


O0o0o, riveting!

Post # 15
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Good question! It’s interesting to see what everyone does. It’s all so tricky. I am looking forward to the day when I can invite people to come to us (which I’m sure has stressors of its own, but at least we wouldn’t have to travel!).

We have kinda sorta figured out our plan. Christmas is the biggest dilemma but since our wedding is a couple months before Christmas, and most family members are coming for it, we are not worried about this year at least.

Post # 16
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

We have split the holidays between each family group.  We basically have 3…

Group 1: my dad’s extended family, hosted by my aunt, includes her kids/grandkids & our grandma 

Group 2: his mom & her side of the extended family

Group 3: my immedite family & his dad   

(We aren’t close with my mom’s side of the family, or his dad’s side of their family; these are “weddings & funerals” relatives)


Easter is always with Group 1, and all of Group 3 is invited.

Group 2 doesn’t celebrate, but they do a semiannual b-day gathering in the spring & fall. 


Thanksgiving Day is always with Group 1,

The Friday or Sunday closest (depending on work schedules) is Group 3; gathering at FIL’s house

We skip Group 2’s event because we see them in October for the fall b-day event


Christmas Eve is Group 1

Christmas Day is Group 2

Group 3 picks a day around this time to gather at my house.


This will be our schedule as long as Groups 1 & 2 are doing events (my aunt & his grandma are the “glue” for those) and if/when those events aren’t a regularity, we will move Group 3’s events to the actual dates, as I am the “glue” for those. 

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