(Closed) How do you handle inviting a separated couple?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Are they at different addresses?  If so, I’d send individual invites.  If they still live together I’d personally send an invite to the unit and let them figure it out. 


We had a separating couple invited…ultimately they both backed out.  One a couple months before the wedding, the other about a week before. 


Post # 4
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@HonoraryNerd:  do you still see his wife and would you consider her a friend? If so, then I would invite her. if you wouldn’t spend time with her at any other time then I wouldn’t. 

Post # 5
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HonoraryNerd:  I wouldn’t invite his wife. I don’t think you need that tension at your wedding. I’d invite him and his son and let them work out custody themselves.

My brother cheated on his wife and left her. She’s a lovely lady but I don’t invite her to anything anymore. It’s not a matter of taking sides, it’s just that she no longer has a connection to me.

Post # 6
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Honestly, I don’t think there is a hard & fast rule for this one.  Seperations can be as bad if not worse than a Divorced Couple, because the emotions are so RAW & NEW

My BEST ADVICE would be when it comes to inviting them, go for ONE or NONE

And Family trumps Friendships.  Friendships trump Acquaintances.

So if you are related to the Hubby, then he’s the one that gets the invite (you can write on it Mr. Jack Schitt & Jack Jr, if you want the little guy there)

Sealed *Oh my gosh, did I say Jack Schitt out-loud ?*

In reality if you would find the whole thing awkward, or you have contempt for what he has done (@sshat that he is cheating on his wife… lets presume she’s lovely, and you liked her)

THEN you can totally give him a miss on this event

Reason… if anyone should ask.  “Gosh he’s going thru some marital issues right now, I didn’t think he want to be reminded by being invited to a Wedding… it being all so NEW and all”

Hope this helps,

PS… And save yourself the drama don’t give him a plus one.  AND if you think he’s a bit of a Etiquette Ooof, and might actually just show up with the Cheating Girlfriend… then as I said, you can always not invite him.  Last thing you need is a whole lot of family drama (not yours) going on at your Wedding.


Post # 7
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We had a similar situation, and invited the cousin and his wife, addressing it to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” and mailing it to the family home, where he was then living (solo) with the kids.  Ours was a no-kids wedding, but if it hadn’t been, we would have invited them all with one invitation (“The Smith Family”).  If the cousin had been the one who moved out, I think we would have still addressed it to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” but mailed it to the address where he was living.  The idea is that we wanted him to attend, and wanted the decision to be his as to whether or not to bring the wife.  He ended up attending without his wife.  Good luck!

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