(Closed) How do you handle showy people?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

They don’t change.  I have a few family members like this- I ignore them or, even I get very annoyed, make a quick, proving-them-wrong comment that shuts them up for a little bit.

Post # 4
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@violet25:   I just ignore them. 

Try to understand and have compassion and awareness that the reason people behave that way is to mask their own inner insecurities. 

It helps with the “wanting to rip their head apart” feeling, lol. 

Post # 5
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 I know it’s a cliche, but you can’t change others. All you can do is minimize your time around them and not reward their bragging with either praise or snark. Just smile, say “How nice for you,” and move the conversation on.

 

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Sunfire:  This is also excellent advice. 😉

Post # 7
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mightywombat:  Thanks!  Yours, too.   😉

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m going to echo the above posters with the idea that you can’t change others and you can’t control the way they behave – all you can do is control your own reactions to them and change the way you respond to minimize these people in your life. If you are uncomfortable with their showy attitude then just try your best to ignore it, shut down conversations quickly, and also like Sunfire said, try to see through them as to why they feel the need to always be bragging and showing off. 

Post # 10
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@violet25:   I know it’s so annoying!  And you really can’t smack them.

I like mightywombat’s advice to just say, “How nice for you,” and try to move away.  It’s hard to stay polite when you’re annoyed, I know.  Or maybe do a fake “watch check” and say something like, “Wow, I didn’t realize the time.  Let me run, nice talking to you.” 

Or you could have a pact with someone to “rescue you,” lol.  A co-worker and I used to make fake calls or IM’s to each other to help with that if we knew someone was bugging the hell out of one of us.  Haha! 

Post # 11
Member
3392 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Say….’That sound lovely…i’ll keep it in mind’…….or ‘that is so fantastic for you guys!!!’

Some people just don’t realize they are a pain in the toosh!!!

They may just be trying to make conversation by ralating it back to their own expiriences.

if they do get to be too much…you could always try these polite exits…

1. my my look at the time… i have to be off

2.or gee I really need a drink….i’m going to go find one

3. oooh looks like the bathrooms free…

4. I have to go talk to such and such…

5. My hubby looks like he’s looking for something…ahh men….i’d better go see whats up!!!

6. oh no…I told pete from work that I would call him at 9pm about our meeting tomorrow…gee its already 9.30pm….excuse me

 

Post # 12
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

One of my own sisters is like this, which is really weird.  She didn’t USED to be like this, but now suddenly in the last 4-5 years…

One super awkward story about her bragging: I should preface this by saying that my sister lives in a suburb of LA and does bookkeeping for a talent agency.  Just a mediocre talent agency..they aren’t representing Brad and Angelina or anything.  But my sister likes to pretend she’s really connected in ‘the business’ (barf)

 

At our last family christmas, my brother brought his new girlfriend to meet everyone.  My sister at some point asks what the girlfriend does, and she says she works at a dance studio and likes to act.  This is an understatement.  She’s a very good actress, who does both commercials and stage, who has won numberous awards–especially that year, when she was in no less than 3 major stage productions.  But she was being modest.

My sister starts this whole, crazy lecture about “how to break in to the business” and “how to find a good agent”, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah….rambles on for 20 minutes in an extremely forceful way.

Funny thing: brother’s girlfriend already HAS an agent.  She’s already IN the business and is already more successful than anyone who is represented by the company where my sister is just a lower-level accountant.

Can you say: a.w.k.w.a.r.d.?  I kept trying to save the girlfriend, by jumping in and saying, “oh, Sarah doesn’t need an agent, she already–” but my sister would just talk over me and keep going.  ugh.

So don’t worry, it just makes the bragger look bad in the end.  It was like a train wreck.  The girlfriend, to her credit, just said generic thing like other bees have posted, like “oh what good advice”.  blah

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