(Closed) How do you handle this potentially awkward situation? (marriage talk w singles)

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Whoops!  That is really awkward.  My only suggestion is to just kind of give it a quick one or two line answer, like your “better than I thought” line, and leave it at that unless they start asking specific questions….

Post # 4
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I hate that question. I never know how to answer. I just say, “good.” and change the subject. I lived with my husband before we got married, so really it’s not like a lot has changed for us.

Post # 5
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Just answer honestly regardless of the company you are in.  Don’t feel you need to pre edit yourself.  No one will get mad at you for being happy with the current state of your life.  Others will be happy for you.  BTW when I was a recently divorced woman I wouldn’t have been mad or saddened if a newlywed was gushing.  I would have been very happy for her.  All of my sadness/anger was aimed at my ex.

Post # 6
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Everyone I know answers that question with something to the effect of “a lot less stressful than wedding planning.”  Maybe saying something like that would keep you away from the sorts of subjects that lend themselves to accidentally making people feel bad about their relationship situations and then making yourself feel bad for making them feel bad, etc, etc.

Post # 7
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh yeah, that’s awkward, but I don’t think that you should over-think it. People are just tyring to make conversation. Just say, “it’s pretty great, you know, but there is ups and downs like in every state of life,” and then ask them a question and move on.

Post # 8
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think newlyweds should gush. I’m sure most people agree. Don’t worry about those two situations, but feel free to answer with “Great!” in the future and leave it at that unless they ask for specifics.

Post # 9
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Sking: I agree with you – gush away! For every newlywed that overdoes it with the “marriage is awesome” talk, there has to be five people complaining about the spouse and making marriage look terrible. I was kind of scared married life would be horrible because of how many people told me how hard it is. While I appreciate honesty, if you are happy, that should be okay! Maybe you are giving those single folks hope!

Post # 10
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I really find those questions rough.  I especially hate “so…has anything changed since you got married?” 

I think that your stock answer is pretty good.  I also think of the gushing is like wedding talk before you’re married:  It is really easy to overdo it.  It’s cool to say that you’re really happy, but if you start to go on and on, people get annoyed.  

That being said, I think that it’s great you’re happy and, as @daniellemybelle: said, it’s refreshing!

 

Post # 12
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Here’s my answers:

a) Does it feel any different?

–> It does, but its hard to explain how. There’s something comforting about knowing that we’re officially in for the long haul. (And if a divorce comment comes on, I choose to totally ignore it.)

b) How’s married life?

–> Wonderful so far! It hasn’t gotten hard yet. (I really like this, because I hate the way that older people tend to have this crazy idea that, since we’re newlyweds, we have no idea what we’re in for.)

c) Aren’t you worried about getting a divorce?

–> Luckily with all of the divorces in our families, we’ve gotten a great education on what NOT to do… and a list of great lawyers. (In my opinion, this is such an out of line comment that it doesn’t deserve a real response.)

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