(Closed) How do you handle this? When a child RSVPs requesting an adult meal…

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What would you do?
    Give the 3-year-old the kids' meal with no explanation to the parents. : (142 votes)
    50 %
    Call the parents and explain that all children under 12 will be getting the kids' meal. : (117 votes)
    41 %
    Nothing. Just let the 3-year-old (or her dad) eat the expensive meal. : (21 votes)
    7 %
    Other. (Comment below.) : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    Ziggy2112 :  I’m assuming OP is doing hamburgers and pizza for the kids menu because most kids do like that stuff and it’s fairly bland. I know that when we are out in public I always give my son something that I know he likes even if it’s not the healthiest option so that we can avoid tantrums and food throwing. We reserve trying new foods or stuff he doesn’t like for nights at home. 

    Post # 77
    Member
    7627 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Maybe they just didn’t read the meal options clearly and thought they had to select an entree for everyone including their 3 yr old? 

    In any event – just serve the 3 yr old the kid’s meal and don’t say a word to the parents. If they want to make a scene about it at the wedding, they will only bring shame upon themselves.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Additionally, the invitations just stated there would be a kids’ buffet without giving details of what would be on it. You’d think in the situtations prior posters are bringing up such as wanting to avoid processed foods, kid hates pizza, kid has allergies or food intolerances, etc. that the family would have asked what would be on the buffet first. That’s why I’m thinking they’re just trying to get an extra steak out on the OP’s dime. Personally I’m not a big fan of kid’s meals that assume kids only like chicken tenders and fries (although, true, there are some that do)- but a buffet that includes roasted veggies and salad is a far cry from that. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    9382 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    MrsSnowMountain :  i definately agree that this child should be given the children’s meal at the wedding and should not have the adult meal option.

    but to say can a 3 year even eat steak.  there are MANY parents who do BLW (baby led weaning) with their children that starts at 6 months.  it is a european thing to do, but becoming more popular in the US.  i do BLW with my son and in my group of mom friends about 40% of us do it too.

    Post # 80
    Member
    2185 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    It’s not your job to provide a nutritionally complete meal for all the kids. If this particular kid has allergies to most of your kid buffet, than yes of course provide him with something he can actually eat. But otherwise, serve him the kids meal. I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.

    Post # 81
    Member
    13 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    There is no way I would allow a $60 meal for a 3 year old. If the parents actually expect that then they seem like entitled nuts. I agree with a previous poster – Have your Fiance call them and say something like “Just calling to confirm your meals for the wedding day as three choices are checked off, we want to be sure you guys get the corrct meal” Then if they say they checked off an adult meal for their toddler, reiterate that children will have a childrens buffet. If they get mad and don’t come, who cares. I wouldn’t want to spend the happiest day of my life with ignorent people! 

    I am actually really curious as to what they say – please keep us updated on what happens (if you do decide to contact them)

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    1699 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I think that there is nothing wrong with their asking since it was *only* a request via snail mail. However, the way in which you respond to their request may set the tone for the rest of the interaction about ‘the 3-year-old’s steak dinner’. 

    While it seems like an excessive request, I do think that at weddings if there’s good food, guests will eat it! If it were me personally, I do not think that the cost difference of a plate is of food is greater than the time, effort, and energy required to figure out which side dishes/vegetables will be available to children on the children’s vs. adult menu. Overall, it seems like the parents are expecting to share food with their child, but are certainly not demanding it, which is why I see no reason to take offense, like many PP’s suggest. I think they are just hoping their 3-year-old can eat a reasonably healthy dinner, ideally without disrupting other dinner guests at the table, and are looking for your acknowledgment of their request. Given the options you have included in the children’s buffet (vegetables and healthy sides), they should have no problem accepting your decision about what children’s meals will be offered.

    Post # 83
    Member
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I know many parents who do not want their kids eating wheat, added sugars or processed foods ever. It’s not a matter of “just one meal”. It’s never. Some of them it’s because of general health, others it’s because of food sensitivities.  People saying they should suck it up for one meal are being ignorant. Yes, I agree the parents could bring their own meals but it doesn’t warrant calling them “special snowflakes” when this is a fairly common concern about food (in some circles). 

    Post # 84
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee

    If this was becuase of any sort of food allergy/sensitivity I would think that the parents would have inquired about all the available options. Just because it’s steak doesn’t mean the whole meal is gluten/sugar free. It’s definitely possible that the kids buffet is the best choice for kids (especially since it seems like the invitation didn’t say exactly what the buffet entails) with restrictions, but you don’t know unless you ask. Because they didn’t, I suspect that’s not the reason.

    Post # 85
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Is it at all possible that this is a genuine misunderstanding?  Maybe the two steaks are for the parents and the chicken is for the child…? It seems to me it’s just as likely a scenario that this isn’t meant to be rude as it might be likely to be “money grabbing”. 

    I would definitely second PP suggestions and say to them, “we wanted to confirm if you two wanted one chicken and one steak or two steaks?”  It doesn’t have to become a big deal.  If they’re good enough friends or family to invite to your wedding, they should be important enough to be able to ask about this “misunderstanding”.

    Post # 87
    Member
    2185 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    If every single item of the plethora of everyday foods that the OP is serving on her kids’ menu (pizza, sliders, mac and cheese, roasted vegetables, salad) is strictly forbidden by some parents, than those kids unfortunately cannot attend this wedding. In that case, I would assume the parents could not attend either since the adult menu no doubt includes added sugars, gluten, wheat, unhealthy fats such as vegetable oils, and possibly artificial flavors and colors.

    Post # 88
    Member
    2708 posts
    Sugar bee

    So I’ve been thinking about this thead a lot for the past day, and I also did a search on the forums for other threads about children’s menus and weddings.  And I raised the topic with my SO, after seeing so many bees mention they got into a fight with their FI/parents/ILs over the issue.  Thankfully, she and I are on the same page, phew!

    SO and I have been talking about it, and the concept of a children’s menu is so foreign to us – especially for children older than 3-4.  My SO’s parents just didn’t believe in the concept of a children’s menu and she grew up eating whatever her parents were having for dinner.  I grew up much the same, but I do remember my younger sister, who is the world’s pickiest eater due to some childhood food aversions to spicy foods, was occasionally allowed to order from a children’s menu in a restaurant, until she was about 5 or 6.   It was important to our parents that dinner was a communal shared experience and no one was eating separate/different meals. (We didn’t have to clean our plates or eat everything on the table, but we also weren’t allowed to have separate meals.)  

    My nieces and nephews have never, far as I know, ordered from the children’s menu.  Clearly, this is an area where there are large cultural and familial differences, though, based on the responses in this thread!  It’s been fascinating to read. 

    I’ll confess that after reading multiple threads about wedding receptions and childrens’ menus, I was shocked that nearly every single wedding reception that mentioned a separate (often mandatory) children’s menu was chicken tenders/chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and french fries.  Occasionally burgers, mozzarella sticks, or pizza was included, and I think one menu also included spaghetti.  I’m kind of horrified by this, to be honest.  Why the emphasis on fried finger foods?  Shame on caterers for only offering this sort of plate to children, and shame most of them for not offering a children’s version of the adult meal (minus the alcohol charge, in particular.)  

    I wanted to toss out one last thought for consideration – Fried foods are often not an option for those of us with shellfish/seafood allergies, as very few restaurants use a separate deep fryer for fish.  If I eat a french fry, a chicken tender, or a mozzarella stick, I would be risking my health and my life.  So there’s an additional reason why a parent might not be open to chicken nuggets and french fries.

    Post # 89
    Member
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    LOLLL some of these responses…jesusss I wonder why so many entitled kids are growing up.

    Guess what this is the kids meal.. all kids eat it so can yours. If your kid is so special that eats nothing bad ever (fun childhood..:/) then bring a snack or leave your kid at home.

    Reason 100 we are not allowing kids.

    OP.. give them the kids meal and don’t even bother with anything else.

    Post # 90
    Member
    1368 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    mimivac :  +1 to all this!

    Seriously, I understand food allergies and restrictions (I had vegetarian, vegan, and gluten and dairy free options at my wedding) but you simply cannot expect someone hosting a wedding to accomodate every possible eventuality, especially if it is merely an entitled preference and not a true need! If a guest is going to be so picky and rude as to claim that the provided food is not healthy enough for their child, well, feed them before you come and bring a snack! 

    The topic ‘How do you handle this? When a child RSVPs requesting an adult meal…’ is closed to new replies.

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