(Closed) How do you handle

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I (or my sister or my fiance) phoned every single person who didn’t RSVP and got a firm “yes” or “no” from them.

No one came who said they weren’t coming. If they did, they would have discovered there was no seat for them (we had allocated seating) and no meal for them. And someone would said to them,  “I’m sorry, but you told us you weren’t coming”.

Post # 4
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I didn’t have this issue, since I had every person on our guest list accounted for as either attending or not attending prior to the day of the wedding.

Post # 5
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

usually caterers have a few extra seats and meals to accommodate unexpected guests. ask your vendors what they do in that case.

Post # 6
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

There will not be a seat for anyone who would do that at mine – we’re having assigned tables. Luckily, it’s out of town for everyone and I plan on getting answers from everyone (even if we have to stalk them!), so I think it’s unlikely this will happen.

If it DID happen, I suppose my DOC (or whoever is in charge if you don’t have a DOC) would scramble to find a table with less than the max people and have a place setting and chair added for them.

Post # 7
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

If they cant decide if they want to come to my wedding their not worth me paying $50 for them to eat that night. A firm yes or no is required – in my book . Thats $50 extra dollars to pay my bills or do something fun on our honeymoon.

Post # 8
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

We didn’t have any unaccounted for guests.  Myself or my husband tracked down every single person for a firm answer.  We had a few no shows, but nobody showed up that said they weren’t going to.

Post # 9
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had 10 guests cancel on us in the final 3 days leading up to the wedding, and then 2 not show up on the day of.  In the final days, I just let my venue know and had them take out those place settings/chairs (I already had uneven numbers at the tables anyway).  And then for the day of, well, I may have thrown a bridezilla tantrum, but ended up just turning a blind eye and it was all okay. 🙂

Post # 10
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What My Darling Husband and I did was call every person who did not RSVP. If we could not get a hold of the via phone, email, FB we put them down as a “No”. We then kept 3 lists to give our DOC the day of the wedding: those who RSVPed yes, those who RSVPed no, and those who never responded.

Those who said yes were told to go in, those who said “no” or never responded were to be told there was no room for them but they could wait to see if room was available in case no-shows came. I was meticulous enough to right down the time and method we tried to contact a non-reponder to let them know we tried to get ahold of them.

On the day of the wedding, we had so many people no show that we had MORE than enough room for the crashers to have food hahahah.

My mom, seeing that 40 people did not show up, took it upon herself to go around the church and invite people to come to the reception to get a plate of food. It was by the grace of God the military base let them on hahaha. So in the end, we had like 15 people crash. We still had a great time!!!!

Post # 11
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We had an “overflow” table of sorts, just in case. 😉 But I agree with others — we didn’t have anyone show up who had RSVPed “no.” Instead, we had some no-shows who had RSVPed “yes”!

Post # 12
986 posts
Busy bee

We are going to track down every single person and get a yes or a no. We’re going to allow one unassigned table for our vendors to eat at/any guests who do show up unexpectedly.

Post # 13
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had tables that weren’t filled to the brim, but also confirmed yes and no from anyone who did not respond.  We didn’t have any extras show up, but had a few no-shows.

As a habit, caterers always make enough food for extra people, in these cases, or in case an entire tray of prime rib is dropped 🙂

Post # 14
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Well honestly if you think your friends and family WILL do that, like I know mine will, I would probably accommodate more seating then necessary only a few chairs they can find a table and my food will be buffet and a good vendors rule of thumb is expect 10% more then told so your vendor should be able to accommodate.

Post # 15
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

If you have guests who you think might show up anyway, it’s a good idea to have a few extra seats available at some of the tables, or even a whole extra table all together to accomodate. 

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