(Closed) How do you hang in there?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Weddingbee!!

My guy doesn’t say it’s not the right time, but I still think all the waiting bees understand 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Weddingbee, proposal videos, ring stuff… I’ve found the perfect ‘forever ring’, and it’s just a question of waiting for him to buy it (he is very stubborn and won’t let me help out, it’ll be about $1000). He already has a ring (CZ and silver) but I’m worried about how the CZ will last, as the one on my promise ring is starting to cloud up. 

We talk about other stuff 🙂 And spend time with friends, family, etc

Post # 5
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m actually in a LDR and I think that makes it even harder! He says he’s not ready yet, but I think it would be easier to deal if we were actually spending time together every weekend, so we’d be enjoying each others company instead of me worrying about the future!

Post # 6
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m actually in a LDR and I think that makes it even harder! He says he’s not ready yet, but I think it would be easier to deal if we were actually spending time together every weekend, so we’d be enjoying each others company instead of me worrying about the future!

Post # 8
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

My guy doesn’t say that anymore. When he did, the thing that kept me from freaking out was having a timeline that we were both comfortable with and knowing he meant it and it wasn’t just lip service. Once I knew it was coming and I wouldn’t be waiting for years and years most all my stress disappeared. 

I know the stock answer is keeping busy, having hobbies, school, etc. But honestly, being on the same page did it for me. I have always been hyperindependent, constantly working on my education, moving up professionally, I have hobbies and go out. All the things Mr. Bee’s plan said you should do I already did so it made no difference if I continued to. 

It’s amazing what a simple timeline did for me. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just kept thinking to myself “We’re 6 yrs into this, I know he wouldn’t stay with me if it didn’t end in marriage!”

I watched a lot of wedding videos, looked at rings online, looked at wedding dresses etc. I don’t know if it made it worse or if it just made me more excited for what was to come!

There was a point where he would just completely avoid any and all talk about weddings, proposals etc. Saying he wasn’t ready, he didn’t wanna talk about it, whatever. I held on LOL…but I did end up giving him a timeline.

Post # 11
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

Looking for perfect but affordable rings, looking for perfect but affordable venues, getting fit and in perfect “bridal shape”, working on improving my communication with SO and our relationship in general, writing provisional guest lists, making folders of inspirational photos – lots of things that will save me time later/make our whole engagement/wedding/marriage process even more amazing.

Post # 12
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i agree with getting on the same page/time frame. SO and I have been sorta talking about it since 6 months into our relationship when he got offered a job and we decided to move for him to take it and for us to stay together, but it became more important over the past year for us.

I think it’s about elaborating on why he doesn’t feel like it’s the time, what sort of changes you both envision at engagement and at marriage, how finances influence it, if he feels that marriage equals a larger responsibility for the other person, ect.

The understanding each other conversations led into time frame converstations and that has helped me. Plus being here…that helps a lot because I know that others are going through the same thing and I’ve been given the green flag for tentative planning for our wedding sooo I’m just doing that

Post # 13
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

@mcklough: Woooo go bees! You’re so right, I don’t know what I’d do without the Hive. I found the bees as soon as I started getting antsy, thank goodness.

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