Post # 1
My little sister just turned 18, and while we are getting closer and it’s not like we have a bad relationship by any means, we aren’t really “friends” or very close, mostly because age difference. I know that later in life we will be, but it just hasn’t happened yet.
I have her as a bridesmaid, first in line after my Maid of Honor (who is my best friend since about 1st grade). She is just about a textbook Maid/Matron of Honor, loves planning and has the time and money to throw parties and is probably more excited about all of this than I am, lol! My sister, on the other hand, isn’t even old enough to drink (thinking bachelorette party here), is in college, lives about an hour away from me, and I honestly don’t think she cares if she’s “just a bridesmaid”. (We have talked about it)
However I know a few of my sister’s friends were pretty mortified that I didn’t ask her. They said they would be so mad if their sister didn’t ask them. My sister and I are okay with the situation, but I don’t want to look like a horrible person to everyone else!!
I threw the idea out to my Maid/Matron of Honor about making my sister one as well and she pretty was like “No I want to be the only one”. I know that makes her sound like a horrible person not worthy of being Maid/Matron of Honor, but I know she was slightly kidding and I sort of excuse it because she is an only child and isn’t used to sharing things.
My questions: If you went to a wedding where the brides’s sister wasn’t the Maid/Matron of Honor, would you think that was horrible? Would it make any differece if you knew she was only 18?
What are some ways I could incoorporate my sister in special ways? I think I will definitely have her give a speech (something that other bridesmaids won’t get to do).
Do you think it’s worth making her a second Maid/Matron of Honor, or just keep things how they are since we are both okay with it?
Post # 3
My little sister is a bridesmaid but my best friend is my Maid/Matron of Honor. However she is very young (only 14) and we arent extremely close. I dont see a problem with it keep in mind her friends are probably imature spoiled brats who want it to be ME ME ME. I think your doing the right thing.
Post # 4
Why worry so much about what other people think? Especially your sister’s 18 yr old friends who have no idea what choices they will make when it’s their turn, and your sister is ok with it.
I did not have any of my sisters as my Maid/Matron of Honor. I asked my best girlfriend. Like you, it just made more sense to have her as my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 5
I’m 25, my sister is 21. She’s not my moh. She’s actually 6th out of my 6 bms. She’s ok with it and never said a word.
Post # 6
I don’t care and it’s no one’s place to judge what the bride does in that respect. The maid/matron of honor should be the closest female to the bride, whether that be a cousin, sister or best friend. It really doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to anyone, and to be honest, I don’t understand why people get so upset over it when it’s none of their business. It doesn’t make the bride horrible, just someone with different relationships than other people. Age is irrelevant as well. If you have more than one maid of honor, it takes away the “honor” part of the title.
It is ok to have your sister as a guest, since that is an honor in itself, contrary to belief. Not everyone wants to be standing up front with the couple, but that doesn’t make them a horrible person or any less supportive.
Post # 7
can your sister even sign the marriage license as your MoH ?
My sister was part of my bridal party but I have 3 friends who are closer to me than she is. We were perfectly fine with that.
I have to ask – why do you care so much about what a bunch of 18 year olds think anyway? :s
Post # 7
If the sisterly relationship doesnt warrent putting her in as Maid/Matron of Honor, then I think it makes total sense that she’s not.
Post # 8
In the US, anyone 18 or older can sign the marriage certificate (which shows that the wedding took place legally) as a witness.
Post # 8
First off, just wanted to say that I don’t have a sister, if that matters. But I don’t think it’s weird at all to have your sister just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and not Maid/Matron of Honor. I know that lots of people are closer with their friends than their siblings (and vice versa) and have chosen their friends as Maid/Matron of Honor. I think it is your decision, and since both you and your sister are completely fine with this, it’s no big deal! Some people just need to learn to mind their own business, and realize that different people have different situations!
Post # 9
@bebefly: Well I didn’t really care what they thought until somone MY age acted a little mortified as well. Granted, the girl my age is extremely immature, so that should have told me something 🙂
Post # 10
None of my sisters are bridesmaids at all. I really don’t think it matters.
Post # 11
I’m not sure my sister will be in the wedding. She’s 15, and I feel like I would be excluding her from going to the bachelorette party and she can’t really throw a shower or help with it financially. My brothers aren’t groomsmen, and might be ushers. But I think that shes just too young to get to enjoy it. I’ll make sure shes there with me to get dressed and feels like shes part of everything, but I don’t know why she has to stand up there during the ceremony when were not that close. So theres no judgement from me.
Post # 12
Your Maid/Matron of Honor should be the person closest to you regardless of whether that’s your sister (or even brother, for that matter) or best friend. Just because you share a set of genes with someone doesn’t mean that they automatically get that job. Then again, I’m also an only child so maybe there’s some unspoken sibling law that I’m unaware of.
Post # 13
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and if both you and your sister are happy with the situation, who cares what anyone else thinks?!?! Honestly, my first reaction when seeing the title was “well, that’s a bit odd” but then I read that she is 18 years old. She’s at a completely different place in life than you and doesn’t sound like she’s capable of filling the role of Maid/Matron of Honor properly, nor does it sound like something she really wants to do right now anyway. Everyone will know she’s your sister so it doesn’t make her any less special. If you want to incorporate her in a special way, ask her to make a toast at your wedding or something along those lines.
Bottom line though is that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, whether they are 18, 26, or 47. It’s a personal decision between you and your sister – you both seem happy with it so it’s nobody else’s business.
Post # 14
No one else should care…..but that’s never how it is. I didn’t have my sister in the wedding at all (we have never been close -she wouldn’t have wanted to be involved either) but I know DH’s family thought I was the devil for not having her in it.