Post # 1
I was an active member 2012-2013 while wedding planning and my first baby. The TTC community was amazing and supportive. We were blessed with conceiving our son, B, on our first full on TTC cycle. Looking back, we were so fortunate and spared a lot of heartache and impatience.
Fast forward to now, and we are on our third cycle TTC #2. I am 9dpo and already feel “out” this cycle despite doing everything “right”. Our timing was perfect this time, I used soft cups, temped, used OPK, CM, etc. Pretty much, I have really thrown myself into this and keep asking myself questions and doubting that we will ever conceive again. I know 3 months isn’t that long in the TTC world, but as many of you can relate, it’s so hard to put so much into it, and see blank tests back in advance.
My question is, what do you do to keep positive? Any tips/tricks/teqniques? I am cherishing every moment with my son because they grow so fast. But each night, after I put him to bed, I get sort of sad that he’s getting bigger and he could potentially be my one and only.
So…how do you do it, bees?
Post # 2
i can’t relate. you are very fortunate.
i am on cycle 12 for ttc#1. it is hard to stay positive. i am on an emotional rollercoaster. but we manage. i stay busy, Darling Husband makes me laugh, and i live with it.
Post # 3
I’m personally not TTC #2 yet, but my best friend had some experience with this. She had 3 miscarriages before having her son, and she has to be on hormones to stay pregnant. When they started TTC #2, she had another miscarriage. She told me that it was still really difficult, but that having her son took the edge off, and she could focus on how lucky she was to have him. Luckily, she’s about to have her second baby in November! I would say to just try to enjoy every second with B now, because it will get a lot more hectic with #2! Good luck 🙂
Post # 4
It took me 14 cycles to conceive. It really doesn’t get any easier, honestly. Some cycles might be a little less sad, but not by much. There were many times I felt like a failure of a woman. Especially when I hit the one year mark. I know it’s not true, but it’s how I felt.
I usually coped by doing something I wouldn’t normally do pregnant, like drink some wine, eat sushi, go for a long run or hard workout. I’d have a good cry, then move on to trying the next cycle. I ended up having some fertility testing done.
Good luck to you. And know 3 months really isn’t that long in the scheme of TTC…
Post # 5
Cory_loves_this_girl: I am definitely doing that! I hope you and your LO are doing well!
CocoLoco523: I like that idea, a good cry and wine. Thank you for sharing with me. Congratulations on conceiving!
ajillity81: FX that you get your BFP very, very soon.
Post # 6
It took us 11 cycles. I’ll be 19 weeks pregnant on Friday. I wish more people had told me how normal it is to take up to a year or even longer in some cases, to get pregnant. I felt like everyone got pregnant first try!
Post # 7
Try to gain perspective. You’ve successfully had a kid on the first shot, so you’re only on your fourth cycle trying to have a baby EVER. And you don’t know that you’re out yet for this month- it aint over till the AF comes to town. I know it sucks to think it might be super easy because you got it on the first shot, only to find out it takes a bit more work the second time, so I get that. However, there are SO MANY women on here who have been trying 6+ months, 12+ months to get their first, that your story doesn’t seem like a struggle whatsoever. I personally am only in my 5th cycle trying but have had 2 devastating losses. What I would give to know that I WILL have a baby eventually. Hug your son extra hard and know you’re incredibly lucky already.
Post # 8
I haven’t started TTC #2 yet, but am so afraid of this when the time comes since we got pregnant unexpectedly one irresponsible but very lucky night with number 1.
My sister has had 2 MCs in between ecah of her 2 children, though. For her she said it helped to remember that she can get pregnant and she can carry babies to term.
Keep your chin up, it will happen for you when the time is right. Getting pregnant is actually hard (despite what most think). THink about how many things have to perfectly align for a viable pregnancy to result!
Post # 9
I don’t have any advice for you ( because I am currently on my first cycle trying).. I just wanted to say good luck and keep positive thoughts and I hope it happens for you soon! 🙂
Post # 10
I think keeping things in perspective is really important when you’re trying to stay positive. It’s frustrating that we can’t all just get pregnant on the first try, but sometimes that’s just the way it goes! For me, things got easier when I accepted that Darling Husband and I could very well be in it for the long haul, and that freaking out every couple of weeks wasn’t going to make it go any faster. Also, the great majority of women will conceive within a year’s time. Especially since you already know you’re capable of conceiving naturally and carrying a pregnancy to term, the odds are totally in your favor. And make sure to think positively. If you find yourself thinking “my son might be an only child,” pause for a second and be like, “damn, girl, give it a minute! Chances are, he’ll have a sibling on the way within the next year – and probably a lot sooner than that!” Honestly, you could be pregnant right now – feeling out doesn’t mean you’re out – and even three BFN cycles is really not that many. It’s not a harbinger of doom, your uterus is not going to spontaneously combust – it’s just taking a minute. Sometimes it just takes a minute, you know?
I also really enjoyed the Circle and Bloom fertility meditation tapes. It was really nice to have twenty minutes a day to just be calm and center myself and relax.
Post # 11
For me the best way to stay positive is to try not think about getting pregnant and having babies too much! But also to plan one thing each month that I have to look forward to other than possibly conceiving. Last month it was summer vacation, this month my sister is coming for a weekend. Taking time to focus on something not ttc related, and keeping busy with my hobbies and other projects means I don’t have time to sit around thinking about getting pregnant. The second I do, I just feel overwhelmed and sad. I am only on my 3rd cycle, but each BFN is still devastating when you want something so badly and when it seems like everyone you know is announcing pregnancies.
Post # 12
I am not saying this to be funny: I drink a lot.
Post # 13
TTC #1 Cycle 10 here…The best advice I can give is to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off of it if you can. Also, after about 3 cycles I pretty much had to quit trying to POAS early and just wait for AF…the BFNs and wasted money was worse than AF showing up. I had a melt down of sorts after cycle 6 and quit charting everything other than the start date of AF shortly after that. It’s incredibly stressful & emotional. Whenever AF shows, Darling Husband and I go on a sushi date, or sometimes he gets me a bottle of wine and cooks me dinner…little things like that make me feel better and to not fret over AF so much and look forward to trying again.
Post # 14
MrsMaskatoBe: After almost 4 years of TTC, a MC, 5 IUIs and 2 IVFs, I stopped trying to “be positive”. If being positive led to get BFP, I would have been pregnant a long tim ago. I quit trying to be something I’m not. So one the days I’m hopeful, I embrace that. On the days that I’m sad, angry, frustrated, etc I allow myself to feel that too.
So if you are having negative emotions (even if other people tell you that you have no right to feel that way because it’s only been 4 cycles), feel them. Don’t waste energy trying to ‘be positive’ when you arent feeling it. It’s easier to move through the emotion when you acknowledge it.
Post # 15
MrsMaskatoBe: TTC #1, Cycle 13, currently in 2ww. I feel you OP. It’s difficult and taxing. And I agree with the PP above, it’s okay to feel many different emotions. I found what works best for me, to help keep me positive & to help my mind stay elsewhere, was to stay busy doing things that I like or taking up new hobbies. Throwing myself into something, whether it’s going to a baseball game, going on a hike, or learning something new, has all helped tremendously. When I need to get it all out, I talk with family & friends whom I trust.
Wishing you the best of luck in your journey!