(Closed) How do you know???

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think it’s mainly people trying to make their invites a little different. I think it’s just that we’d all like to think that (most) people would accept happily or decline regretfully.

You then get people who are a bit cheeky and write “decline joyfully” etc. I’d say it’s just people trying to put their own stamp on things.

Post # 4
1094 posts
Bumble bee

@WindyCityWendy:  Properly (in the days before sending people forms to fill out because you can’t trust them to write a note on their own) guests would write in their own hand:

Miss Aspasia Phipps
accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of
Miss Windycity
to attend her wedding

You always “accepted with pleasure” or “regretted to decline”, because the truth that you “accepted with mixed feelings” or whatever just wouldn’t be polite. After all, hosts don’t write “request the dubious pleasure of the company of”, even when the pleasure is rather dubious. True, in that case it is the guest herself who is declaring her pleasure or regret. But the wording in the response card comes from the idea that you are just helping the guest fill out the response she should properly be writing by hand.

I always throw out the R.s.v.p. card and write a proper response on my own stationery. But that is because I am a crotchety old lady with very nice personal stationery that I like showing off.

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