(Closed) how do you know if you want kids?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m the opposite side of the spectrum.  I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I wanted nothing more than to be a mom.

That doesn’t mean I’m itching to pop out a kid this instant though.  Darling Husband and I want to enjoy some time as a married couple, just the two of us, before expanding our family (plus we’re young – both 24).  We plan to TTC in about 3 years.  Just because we don’t choose to have them this instant, doesn’t change how badly we want them and want to be parents.

Sounds to me like you and your FH fall into that same boat – you know you want them, just not this instant.

Post # 4
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I will say that before we got married, we both always wanted kids in the “someday” sense.  Definitely wanted a family, but planned on about 3 years married before kids and never really thought about specifics.  I definitely couldn’t picture myself with kids yet, and hubby was still kind of terrified of the whole thing.  After being married for about a year and a half, something just kind of clicked for both of us that we were ready sooner.  I think part of it for us was being really settled and comfortable in our marriage at that point, and being ready for the next phase of our life.

Post # 5
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

All I’ve ever wanted my entire life is to be a mom and my husband was really excited about becoming a dad, so we decided to either get pregnant or married. Pregnancy happened first and we were nervous, but it was the best decision for us.

Post # 6
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have just known in my entire life.  I completely believe it’s the reason I was brought into this world.  I would completely TTC if I was financially stable, but I’m not, so I am waiting.  It’s the hardest wait of my life, but I want my future children to have a better life than I ever did.

Post # 7
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you just know, or it (pregnancy) happens and then you realize. For me I have always known I wanted to be a mother and can’t wait for the day we start ttc!

Post # 8
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I knew generally that I always wanted kids, and I knew my husband wanted kids.  But I didn’t really have that biological urge until one day it just all clicked. All of a sudden I had baby rabies!  It wasn’t a gradual thing for me; it was just a sudden realization that I was ready NOW.

Post # 9
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@EleanorRigby: I can identify with you. I always just figured I would have kids, but I don’t know now. We both have days where we think it would be nice and days where we think it would be nice not to have them. It just seems like so much work, and we’re so content with our life together now.

I think we’re just going to wait and see if things change and either of us develops some kind of burning desire to be a parent.

Post # 10
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@rosegirl: I’m the exact same. I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. Can’t WAIT.


I’m not sure that baby fever is the same as the biological clock?

Baby Fever, to me, is having the desire to be pregnant, holding the little baby. I’m not in any rush, I just get gooy over all the baby pics and stuff and cuteness.

Whereas, the Biological Clock is more like, HOLY SHIT IF I WANT A BABY I BETTER DO IT NOW. (not saying that they don’t want to feel pregnant or have those experiences, it’s just more rushed).

ETA: Although, I could TOTALLY be wrong, and someone please correct me if I am!

Post # 11
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Well, I don’t think that means you don’t want kids. I think it means you don’t want kids now. It’s perfectly fine to wait! Enjoy life and then when you’re ready to make that sacrifice, you’ll know 🙂

This is coming from someone who doesn’t have kids, doesn’t necessarily want kids, but feels that she will want kids sometime later on in life… maybe.

Post # 12
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ll give you the other side of the coin – I always thought growing up that I was going to be a mom. Not because I wanted it, but because i thought that was the way life worked – school, work, husband, kids.  But, the older I got, the more I knew that I wanted it all except kids.  I still stand by that choice, I have no desire to be a mom. I do however, love being an aunt, and all my friends kids.

Post # 13
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just wanted to pop my head in and thank you ladies (and your partners) for counter-balancing me and my Fiance.  We don’t want kids at all but are certainly supportive of the human race continuing on 🙂

Post # 13
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I turned 28 last June and got married in September – our first baby is due this June.

I have NOT always wanted to be a mom, in fact there was a time when I didn’t even want kids. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t imagine not having a family when I was my parents age.

After the wedding we started trying and while I was surprised at how quickly we got pregnant, I’m just happy we did since so many people have difficulties. Ideally I would have wanted to have more time for just us, but knowing that fertility issues can take years to diagnose and get treatment for, we wanted to make sure we’d have time on our side. Also my husband is 10 years older so while I could wait a few more years – waiting for him meant he’ll be an older parent.

My point is that I never had “baby fever”, I still don’t. BUT I know I’d feel like I was missing out on something if we never had children, so I’d rather have them sooner than I’d planned than to never have them at all.

Post # 14
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2000

for me it wasn’t until I turned 30! 

I didn’t see my present life with kids, my friends didn’t have kids, etc. When I turned 30 I started to think about my future, what I wanted, how I was going to get there. 

Even still I’m one of the first of my friends to have a baby. And though I know having a baby will change so much of my life as it exists now, I can’t picture myself being the playgroup kind of mom, watching a bunch of kids at once, etc. My mom wasn’t like that… but we’ll see.. lol 

I’ve never changed a diaper in my life! uh-oh, hahaha

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