- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
. I have not been one to open up like this to anyone in a long time so this gives me some anxiety on its own! I have been dating a guy for almost a decade now. he is gorgeous, has a personality people everyone likes, is my first and only lover, he is intelligent and successful. Both of our families love us together. I seriously lack in the local friend department and he has no problems in that area. He also has no problem attracting the ladies without even trying. I am having a lot of cold feet feelings some days, not sure how normal that is. I remind myself that he is such a great guy and he makes me a better person and has lifted me up from such a troubling family life. Even to this day he helps me greatly with my family issues but this cold feet feeling keeps coming back up and it’s starting to wear on me.
I don’t think we are soul mates, If there is such a thing. Plus not to mention that I believe in god and he does not. But on the other hand when he is gone from the house I feel like I miss him so badly and I can sense when he is about to call me or when he is in trouble or anything unusual 90% of the time so I know we have a serious soul connection in that aspect.
On the other hand I feel like there is a limit to how much he can give me emotionally. it’s very hard for him to see things from my perspective on most issues and he would rather not work out any problems by talking because he feels talking makes things worse. Also I don’t feel like he can ever satisfy me romantically and this always bothers me. Romantically he lacks in any knowledge how to do it, although he has made some attempts to do so with disasterous results. Not to mention I was really hoping for us to learn how to dance for our first dance but he refuses to learn steps from a video or a professional so that’s out the door.
I used to feel bad that I didn’t get to experience much outside of our relationship but I got over that feeling already because he truly has given much needed stability in my life because I suffer from chronic and sever anxiety, untreated, and hs presence helps to allevitate that.
Well I guess the question could be: if you are married or are about to be married how do you know if it’s right because I am not sure if I am doing the right thing, but I sure as hell would fall into the deep end if I were to end everything I’ve ever known which may just possibly lead to me finding out that I just ruined my whole life from being fickle with the best thing I’ve ever known.