Post # 16
Dh and I discussed it before we ever married, and we both wanted three. We had three in exactly four years (the first and last share the same birthday). I cannot speak to your dilemma because the number of children you decide to have is so personal; no one else can make that decision for you. It was a little bit rough with three little ones, and I was so happy when they could all use the bathroom and dress themselves independently. The little baby stage was just never my favorite, but it got better and better as they got older because they’re just great people to be around. We are also lucky because all of our kids get along. The two oldest get along because they’re brothers, and the second and third get along because they’re closer in age (the first two are 28 months apart, while the second and third are 18 months apart).
Post # 17
Everyone always told me that you will “know” when you are done, but I’m pretty sure I would be a Duggar if that was the case! I have three and am currently pregnant with #4. I am old and my uterus is tired, so we are definitely done after this one, but I’m sure I will be sad with every passing milestone. I will say that I thought the transition from 2 to 3 was the hardest. With two, one parent could handle things like bedtime alone so the other one could occasionally get a break, but we need all hands on deck with three (I also have three really energetic boys ages 2, 4 and 6, so that makes a difference!). We are also really fortunate that my mom lives close and is extremely helpful and we have a wonderful nanny (we both have really busy full time+ jobs). I don’t think we could have a large family without a lot of help.
Post # 18
Honestly I think it’s the hardest decision ever and there are just so many factors that come into play it’s literally impossible for anyone to tell you for sure. I think it boils down a lot to age, financial situation, lifestyle, etc.
I think it’s really easy when you don’t have kids to say “well I want X” but once you start having kids reality hits you in the face like a baseball bat. 🤣
I always said I wanted two kids. It’s what my family looked like growing up and what most my friends families looked like. BUT, I also assumed I’d have kids in my early 20’s and life didn’t play out like that. Instead I didn’t have a kid until my early 30’s. I think had I had my son in my early 20’s I would have probably had a second because I would have been far less set in my ways and more flexible.
Even prior to having my son, I still assumed I’d have two kids – and just figured I’d do it back to back (as opposed to having 3 years between like I initally wanted). Now that I have an almost two year old I’m almost firmly “one and done” provided we don’t have an oopsie. My son fits every stereotype of a little boy – wild, rambunctious, constantly moving, etc. He’s sweet and funny but he is WIDE OPEN all day long. If his eyes are open he’s moving.
Part of my decision is how exhausting he is. But a huge part of it just has to do with the ease of only having him. We like to travel, and I usually do my travel solo to meet up with my Darling Husband who travels for work. An extra kid is an extra airline ticket and double the amount of crap I have to take along. I’m excited for him to be getting big enough to do fun things and I think about adding a baby to the mix would just set us back. We have a large house but if we added another kid to the mix it would really mess up me having my office, etc. I’m sure plenty of people read all that and think “well there are plehty of ways to make it work” but for our lifestyle I just feel like where we are is where we should stay.
On the flipside I know plenty of people who have 3+ kids and absolutely love their life. Mom stays home, they don’t really travel on big trips, and their kids do modest activities. It totally works for them.
Post # 19
But what is number 4???? girl???????????????
Post # 20
haha- we aren’t finding out! I would be happy with a girl, but I feel like we really have this boy thing figured out by now!