(Closed) How do you know when a couple is serious

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
3680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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Jacqui90:   She’s not planning a wedding. If you look at her past posts, you’ll see this is a common theme.

Post # 32
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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cmbr:  Yeah I didn’t think she was so I was surprised with all the responses with advice about plus ones and how you should draw a line about whether a couple is serious or not when figuring out the guest list. I just posted generally about a couple’s seriousness but after all the other responses I thought maybe the OP was looking for plus one advice. Very confusing!

Post # 33
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ap2010:  Honestly, I’d base it off of how well I know the couple and their history. Future Sister-In-Law for example goes through guys like candy. Her most recent ex lasted 3 weeks? With this current one, the longest anyone expects it to last is a month and a half and that’s just hopeful optimism. So, if we were being strict about plus ones and she wasn’t my Future Sister-In-Law, I probably wouldn’t give her one. History has shown that her relationships aren’t very serious and unless this one has made it several months, I wouldn’t consider it.

On the other hand, I also have a friend who got married recently and wasn’t with her husband long at all. However you could tell just by being with them and seeing them interact that they were serious as a couple. If we got married before them, there’s no way I could have not given her a plus one. They may not have dated for years, but you knew they were in it for the long haul. Unlike Future Sister-In-Law, it didn’t feel like just a fling.

I agree with PPs, there isn’t a set criteria, but I think there are ways to judge. If you really can’t tell, just talk to them. If they’re invited to your wedding and it’s intimate enough that you’re worried about plus ones, you should be close enough to inquire. 

Post # 34
Member
507 posts
Busy bee

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SellyJo:  This is my opinion. People on these boards should not get so defensive. I don’t think there is much wrong with the plus one restriction to those with a ring on their fingers. There are exceptions but that remains my blanket rule because I don’t care to get into asking people “if they are serious?”

Post # 35
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

 

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MrsDogMama:  I think if you are going to have such a rigid view on something and post about it, you have to expect that not everyone will agree with you… That’s not bees being defensive, that’s just people expressing a different opinion to your own. Don’t worry about it 🙂 

Post # 36
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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MrsDogMama:  The OP isn’t asking about plus ones–she isn’t planning a wedding. She’s wondering when you would classify the relationship as more than casual. So that’s probably why you got that reaction–as I’m sure you did consider your relationship as more than casual the day before you got engaged (or maybe not, don’t want to assume!). Obviously the answer is different if the question is relating to how you would give out plus ones (and engaged is typically an accepted guideline).

Post # 37
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

I think a couple is serious when they decide they are. My fiance and I were serious less than a month after we began dating. I know couples who have been together alot longer that aren’t serious.

Post # 38
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

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cmbr:  Well said!

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