How do you know when to end a relationship?

posted 1 month ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

When you have to ask this question.

Post # 17
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

ladama :  This is the most sensible advice I’ve seen anyone write on weddingbee.

Very good advice.

Post # 18
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Previous posters are right, good relationships aren’t that hard.  They’re just not.  That being said, in the course of a long term relationship, you will go through ups and downs.  Moving in together is quite a change and can cause issues or magnify existing issues as you learn how to live with one another.  Bottom line, you have to look at the big picture and ask if you’re happy.  If you’re not happy, why are you staying?  Is it a rough patch or is this how it’s going to be indefinitely? My feeling is if you’re asking when it’s time to end a relationship, you’ve already at least partially made up your mind.  

Post # 19
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds like my relationship with my ex of 2.5 years. The fact that we could talk about it calmly and communicate was what kept me around for so long. But ultimately, we were just not compatible. No amount of talking will ever change your fundamental values and personalities to make them fit if they didn’t automatically fit.

What eventually ended it was the fact that I didn’t want to live together before marriage and he didn’t think it makes sense to get married without having lived together. But also deep down, after 2.5 years I knew no way in hell I can put up with him on a day to day basis when we were fighting almost weekly already only seeing each other 3 days a week.

Fiance and I rarely argue let alone fight. Most happily married couples I know say the same thing. Don’t get me wrong sometimes you get annoyed at each other but they’re all small stuff and you’d probably laugh about it after. 

 

Post # 20
Member
10053 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

khloemichelle :  

Some relationships just run their course, Bee.  Most are not built to last forever. It sounds as if you two were okay until you moved in together.  That’s really the point of living together; to test the relationship before you take it any further.

It sounds as if the increased closeness exposed some core incompatibilities. I would not invest a lot of time, energy, and effort on a square peg/round hole thing. You didn’t really raise specific issues that could be resolved.  “Communication problems” is a waste basket term that often means “we don’t get along”.

Nobody’s wrong.  You may just not be a good fit for the long term.

Post # 21
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

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