Post # 1
I am going to try to keep this short, as I feel like this might be repeatitive topic. How do you know you are ready to be parents?
I always had this list of things I wanted/needed before I TTC:
1-Be married for 2 years
2-Own a home
3-Be at least 26 years old
4-Complete my education
5-A specific amount of money in savings
6-2 years at the same job….
So now I am 2 weeks from turning 30 and have #3 and #4 BUT I have a complication, which is High Grade Cerival Dysplaxia. From what I have read/was told by my gyno 95% of cases go away on their own after 2 years, of the remaing 5% most turn into Cervical Cancer- which is treatable if caught early. This May will make 2 full years since my diagnosis; I go every 6 months for coposcopy (biopsy) and it’s been getting worse, so I am getting worried I will be that 5% and am risking fertility or pushing back the window for baby making.
So I am not married (yet), but in a very stable, long term relationship, we don’t own a home right now, but make enough money to support a child (childcare is an issue since we both work FT.) I feel like I am ready, but also wonder if the clock is ticking fast biologically and the constant friends who are either pregnant or have a newborn is giving me jealousy and baby fever.
I guess my fear is being 35 having my checklist complete and not being able to concieve. Right now I have a birth control implant in.
So guess the questions is; how did you know you are ready to be parents?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club
If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never be ready. There will always be something else you’ll want to add to that list, but there is no reason you can’t do that with a baby Just trust your gut and go for it when the time feels right for you and your partner.
Post # 4
Well, I didn’t. But I knew that I was approaching 30 and might not ever feel ready, so we just went for it. Sorry that’s probably not the kind of response you’re looking for, but it’s the truth.
Post # 5
@Mollie-Rose: “If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never be ready” That’s what I keep thinking. Then it will be ‘we need a newer car, bigger house, less $ in student loan debt’
@iheartnerds: No that is what I am looking for…a “just do it!”
Post # 6
@aliciapdx: What’s holding y’all back from marriage?
Post # 7
I dunno, we just felt emotionally ready. We live in an apartment (we own it, and it has two bedrooms, but still lots of people think that screams “not ready!”). We have stable jobs that allow us to live relatively comfortably that the additional expenses won’t have us worried every day, and were married for a year when we started TTC, so we decided to just call that “ready enough”. The rest we’ll figure out on the fly.
I just think that so many things can change quickly, that even if you’re fully “ready” to have a baby that it might be a short lived thing and you’ll have to be flying by the seat of your pants anyway, so why not.
Post # 8
I think you have to be ready to make whatever sacrifices you will need to make in order to be the kind of parents you want to be. Money, time, all of it. Babies are a LOT of work. They add a LOT of love, but they TAKE a lot out of you…. so you have to be ready and able and willing to give all that you need to give.
Make sure you and your partner are on the same page with expectations… what kind of parent each of you wants to be…. what you are willing to do to help out. etc.
Post # 9
@Mars62312: Nothing, just saving up a bit for a pretty elopement, we have talked about court house local quickie “i do.”
@SapphireSun: I think that is what scares me…the “flying by the seat,” I like to plan *cough* control situations.
@3xaCharm: We have discussed all the details and am on the same page. The only glaring issue is childcare expenses since we both FT and would need to continue to do so (or close to) in order to have the $ to raise a child.
Post # 10
Just a quick update, we had a serious talk (I cried) and we are going to start planning now; eating well, vitamins, saving $ etc. We aren’t setting a time frame up, but if it happens, it happens (I am on birth control.)
He is very research based and we pretty planful (read: controlling) so we are on the stage 1: Prep! SUPER EXCITED!!!!!!!!