(Closed) How do you know when you're a starfish? And what does that really mean?

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve never heard this term, but it sounds kinda funny.

Post # 3
45533 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

princesslettuce14:  I think we would know if we were just laying there not doing anything. If a girl was very inexperienced sexually, or had cultural inhibitions to overcome, she may think that is what is expected of her.

Post # 5
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

princesslettuce14:  lol, I think I like “epic pillow princess” more.

Post # 6
1411 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Lol I’ve never heard this before, I guess it’s just a twist on “cold fish.” I was always eager to experiment with different positions, so I was never a starfish.

Post # 7
6046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


princesslettuce14:  I marked your comment as “helpful” becuase you said epic pillow princess. That is all.


p.s. I haven’t ever heard of the starfish term. But it seems like kind of  a shitty reason to break up with someone, what a douche. Why not just say “hey! let’s kick it up a notch in the bedroom there buddy!” And to tell a girl “yea I broke up with her because she starfished in bed” yea….. that just makes you a tool. geez man.

Post # 8
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

haha never heard of that before but i think its hilarious. I feel bad for the girl though. WTF why didnt he just, i dont know, COMMUNICATE and help her improve her technique? Unless she legit didn’t care. 

I am not a starfish. lol

Post # 9
3403 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

No idea if I am a starfish. I’m not buck crazy or spastic, but I’m not a deaf mute who lays in a catatonic state either…

I’ll have to ask my husband his take… lol

Post # 10
1818 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

julies1949:  This thread made me laugh until I read your comment. Now I’m just kind of depressed. Buzzkill!

Post # 11
1837 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK

Haha this is not what I thought it was! Starfish in bed to me is taking up as much room as possible in the shape of a starfish because you can (like when my SO gets up early to got to work and I get the whole bed to myself), or because your being totally annoying and trying to make the other person sleep on the edge lol

Post # 12
1937 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

princesslettuce14:  I’ve definitely heard the term “starfish” before. My college boyfriend wrote me this long winded email after we split, saying he missed me, and that “a starfish you’re not.” so I guess high five for me?

I don’t think chicks literally just LAY there, but I mean, I’ve had a guy that basically did one thing, and not very much of it. So does that make him a starfish? Guess so!

Post # 13
3308 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


I’ve heard of this. Nobody has ever called me a starfish, but I did have one boyfriend that called me “frigid” and a “cold fish”. I just didn’t find him attractive in any way and I felt very controlled by him. It was a very unhealthy relationship.

You are a starfish if you just lie there without moving during sex. Most men like to feel as though their sexual partners are enjoying being physically intimate. No movement and complete silence is not very encouraging or arousing to men.

Post # 14
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve never heard this term in regards to sex. Only a way of sleeping, I tell DH he sleeps like a starfish(sprawled out like one) in the middle of the bed.

Post # 15
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

hahaha I laughed reading the title! I have definitely heard of starfish but I am not guilty of it. my girlfriend was dating a guy for a year or so and towards the end of the relationship she pretty much hated him and wasn’t attracted to him Anymore. She used to starfish all the time just to get it over with lol. When it gets to that point I think it’s time to reavaluate.

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