Post # 1
Hubby and I have been married for almost three months and have been discussing our TTC timeline. I’m 25 and he is 27. We’ve been together six years and moved in together about a year before getting married. He says he’s ready to start trying now and has been for a long time (like pre-wedding). I go back and forth about my readiness, and here is why:
I’m very uncomfortable around children, especially babies. Having been an only child, I’ve never had much exposure to them.
The idea of pregnancy/child birth terrifies me. Thinking of blood tests, the epidural, tearing/stitching, etc. makes me nauseous.
I’m not entirely sure we’re financially ready for a baby. We both have stable jobs, but about $10,000 in credit card debt and about $10,000 in savings.
Have any of you other bees had pre-TTC anxiety? Will I just wake up one day and know I’m ready?
Post # 3
I do not have a good ansewr. But I want to tell you that this is a good question. It’s been on my mind too. And we got married approx. 2.5 mths ago. In my case, I just turned 30 and Fiance is 28. I am not sure if now is the ‘right’ time or not. I know I can’t wait too long either but when do you know if you are ‘ready’?
Post # 4
One of the things I’ve heard re: this topic is that many people never quite know they’re ready–you just have to make a decision and hope it’s the right one (eek!).
Post # 5
I will tell you what I have heard from every single woman who has children; you will never be “ready” to have children and/or there is never a perfect time to start having children.
Post # 6
Ugh! Doesn’t sound very promising. I was hoping to have an ephiphany one day when I wake up. Sort of like a light shining down on my head and angelic music playing in the bkgd with a voice in my head saying ‘the time is now….’ in a sing-song voice.
Not gonna happen?
Post # 7
I’ve heard the same about how there is never a “right” time 🙂
@Sasha, I feel the same!
I guess I’m wondering if I should be expecting something to kick in and tell me, “Okay, it’s time!”
Post # 8
i’ll be following this because im curious too! im 25 and he is 26 and we have been married 7 months – i had 2 baby showers this weekend! i feel like im surrounded by babies and i seriously cannot wait to have kids of my own but everytime i come close to biting the bullet and want to start trying i think about my saturday mornings and how much i enjoy sleeping in haha. (selfish, i know) I have baby fever like no ones business but i dont think i quite ready yet. are you ever ready? haha
Post # 9
@CherryWaves: yeah I’ve heard the same thing from most people. No one is every truly ready until you have the little baby in your arms and then you play it by ear, ofcourse if you have stable partner and reliable income and health insurance it helps a lot
Post # 10
Maybe I should ask it a little differently… Bees with babies or currently expecting: How did YOU know it was time? Was there something that clicked? Like an “A-ha!” moment?
Post # 11
For us, it just felt like we were both on the same page at the same time. I can’t say we have baby fever, and we’re not particularly fond of other people’s babies, but we do know that we want children, so things just fell in place. I feel very much the same way about this as when I was ready to get married. We are just ready.
Also, we are not in some sort of perfect situation for having a child. The economy sucks right now in Florida, we are in construction which is even worse, and we have 2 properties we can’t get rid of that are stretching us pretty thin. Basically, we just got tired of waiting for things to pick up. We are both almost 28, and couldn’t find a good reason to wait any longer. I’m not getting any younger, that’s for sure! I am confident things will work out, even though sometimes it’s terrifing.
Post # 12
You’ve gotten some great advice, but I just wanted to say that if I woke up in your shoes, I would pay off that credit card debt with that $10,000 right away. There’s no way you are making enough interest on your savings to justify the interest you are paying on that debt, and I bet being out of debt would feel amazing! Sure, you’ll have to start your savings over, but you will have all that money you were putting toward credit card bills to ramp up your savings! In another year you’ll have it built back up, plus no debt, and I bet you will feel better on that front about talking about TTC. For me, I know 75% of why I am not ready for a baby is because of our lack of financial security.
Post # 13
@daniellemybelle: totally agree. that was my first thought as well!
Post # 14
@CountryBee11: Hi! I dont think I will ever bee 100 percent ready, but I also dont think I will be more ready than I am now, if that makes sense.
There are some people who think they are so ready and made for childbirth and then they dont find motherhood easy, and others who are reluctant by take to it like a duck to water! I think you have to have faith. If you know you want to have children, I would go for it!
Post # 15
I used to think the same as you, I was TERRIFIED of birth and kids.
I told myself I wont worry about any of that stuff till I finish my 20s.
Well here I am, 30 yrs old and I go to my Gyno for a check up
She tells me I may have cervical cancer, I go through all these procedures and they caught it quick.
That JOLTED me awake! the fact that I MAY not be able to have children really woke me up. Rather than always thinking “oh some day” I hated that the answer was already there for me,I wanted to make that choice, not stupid cancer.
Anywho long story short, Im good and healthy now and my husband and I are TTC.
I educated myself and read books and learned more abour Pregnancy so that I can understand it more and not be so afraid.
Now I embrace it and look forward to it happening to us one day.
You’ll get there too! promise!