(Closed) How do you light a fire under the Bestman’s Butt?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Should I contact the BM to make sure he is on his game?
    Yes, Call him out! Its better to be safe than sorry. : (1 votes)
    6 %
    Yes, but tread very lightly. : (4 votes)
    25 %
    No, thats between them, you should stay out of it. : (11 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 3
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i dont think u should email him, if anything your Fiance should contact his bestman directly

    Post # 4
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Or if your Fiance feels weird about contacting him, could you get one of your brothers to do it?

    Post # 4
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    These are guys we are talking about. 6 month is like years to them. I would say if its a month before the wedding and still no plans say something to your brother to bring it up with the Bridesmaid or Best Man

    Post # 5
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Definitely do not email him. I think all groom/groomsman relationships are best left to the men. You’re not his mom or the steward of his feelings. If I were you/him I think the safest route would be to suggest that one of the groomsman ask him about it and report back. Alternatively your Fiance could just ask him casually like “so have you thought of what weekend we’ll do the bach party yet bc I want to make sure to get it on my calendar now before we get too busy.” 


    Also, keep in mind that the best man does not HAVE to throw him a party. Sure it is nice and they usually do… but I wouldn’t exactly say it is mandatory. 

    Post # 6
    2588 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’d stay out of it. Let FH handle it if/when he chooses to.

    Post # 7
    527 posts
    Busy bee

    If your Fiance is worried about it, then he should take care of it because that’s man territory and his party.  I also agree with MsCheesecake that 6 months is like 2 years in guy time.  This guy has also recently moved, so I’m sure he’s kinda focused on setting up his new living situation rather than worrying about something 6 months out.  I’m sure it’ll all work 🙂

    Post # 8
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’d wait until 3 months before and if nothing has been done by then and I know this guy pretty well, I’d start giving him ideas… If I didn’t know the guy at all…I’d stay out of it. My FI’s best man is used to me giving him a hard time about everything (he’s a pretty awesome guy, I just like to give him a hard time – I think he enjoys the attention. Lol). I’d get on the phone with him and help him if he wanted me to. But I wouldn’t do that until at least 3 months in….you know, the guy time thing again.

     He’s still got TONS of time. I’d just leave it until later. Your man should really be the person to talk to him first. If your Fiance said you were willing to help and he was interested in your help, then I’d start the emailing/phone calls. For now, just wait. 

    Post # 9
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’d definitely stay out of it!!!  My shower, bachelorette party & his bachelor party weren’t planned till a few months out and they were all great.  You are sooo far out from your wedding at this point.  I know your wedding is very important to you but hi Best Man has other priorities in his life.  You picked him to be best man, now trust him to handle things correctly.  Remember that he’s the best man – not you!

    Post # 10
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    if anything, i’d say have one of your brothers email the best man. that way it can be a casual, “hey, what did you have in mind for the bachelor party, looking forward to it” kind of email, not you checking up on him. otherwise, it’s up to your Fiance to talk to his best man, not you. it’s not like he shouldn’t be involved in the planning anyway. for all the bachelorette parties i’ve helped planned, the bride has very much been involved.

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