(Closed) How do you like four names for a baby? And do the "first name" have to be first?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Four names for a baby, good or bad? AND does the name the baby will be called have to come first?
    Four names is great! But the name the baby will be called HAS TO BE FIRST! : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Four names is great! The name the baby will be called doesn't have to come first! : (15 votes)
    5 %
    Four names is ridiculous! 3 is perfect! And the name the baby will be called has to come first! : (36 votes)
    13 %
    Four names is ridiculous! 3 is perfect! The name the baby will be called doesn't have to come first! : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Four names is ridiculous! 2 is perfect! And the name the baby will be called has to come first! : (103 votes)
    37 %
    Four names is ridiculous! 2 is perfect! The name the baby will be called doesn't have to come first! : (66 votes)
    24 %
    Four names is ridiculous! ONE plus a last name is enough! : (24 votes)
    9 %
    The more names the merrier! But the name the baby will be called has to be the first! : (5 votes)
    2 %
    The more names the merrier! It doesn't matter if the name the baby will be called is not the first! : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 61
    1105 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    bibilicious :  I have three names and love it, but sometimes it can be annoying. I’m frequently asked to choose one middle name for important documents and then having to explain to everyone it’s not my full name (doctors offices, voting booths, etc). I wouldn’t change it for the world, but I can’t imagine how difficult four names would be! 


    Have you thought about combining two of the names? IE Rose and Mary could be Rosemary 🙂 

    Post # 62
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    There’s no real point.  They will never be addressed by all four names, use them in conversation, sign them on anything, or in any way really use them.

    Post # 63
    2928 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    My Fiance goes by his middle name and he said sometimes it’s a pain in the ass so I couldn’t imagine having to deal wirh 4 names. He doesn’t know why his parents gave him a different first name if they knew they were just going to call him by another name. It definitely causes confusion with legal documents. He said he wouldn’t intentionally make someone go through all that.

    Post # 64
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    There are other ways to honor important people in your lives than slapping their name in your kids names. Doesn’t it also lose some of the significance when the child has FOUR names? I have two and am dropping my middle name to swap in my maiden name, and I literally didn’t give it a second thought, I would never have added another- my last name is 9 letters and my original middle name is 9 and having both seemed SO annoying.

    At the end of the day do what you want, but as an adult your child will probably laugh and be like “moms crazy” when people look at their ID and comment on all the names. I’d look at other ways of honoring the important people in your lives, imo.

    Post # 65
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think four names is too many. But do what pleases you. 🙂 Afterall it is going to be your babies.

    Post # 66
    2542 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Personally in this day and age when people are naming their children really stupid names like after pokemon characters, I would say that 4 classic solid names is far better than one ridiculous name.

    Pikachu Smith


    Joseph John Victor Martin Smith.

    I would pick choice number 2 by a long shot. And least you can grow into an adult with a name like that.

    Post # 67
    2019 posts
    Buzzing bee

    4 names won’t fit on many legal docs in the US. Traditional forms have a space for First, Middle, Last. They won’t create a new form just because you have a bunch of middle names. Legally, you’ll have to pick one to go by as your ‘actual’ middle name. The others won’t be legally recognized. It will be an annoying fight their whole lives. In the US, no one would call your child “anna marie elizabeth jane lastname. It just wouldn’t happen. However, there are people whose names are Danielle JoAnn Smith who can ‘go-by’ Joann. Although, their legal name is Danielle and will always be Danielle. They can’t legally sign documents JoAnn without having their name changed.

    Also- your op said something about ‘ we have x number of names, but only want max 4 kids’. I think its a little much to say “well, we have 16 names we want to use, but don’t want to have more than 4 kids, so I guess we’ll have 4 kids to use all the names”. 

    Post # 68
    943 posts
    Busy bee

    holy crap why do you think that “it is one thing for them to have to correct people, that we don’t mind”??? I have to correct SPELLING of my name for more than 20 years, and it was CRAP ANNOYING. They didn’t know that there is an easier more intuitive spelling and would have gone for that if they knew it would cause problem in my life.

    It’s your child and all, but you sound selfish for “not minding” that you child has to tell everybody “My first name is Anna but you HAVE TO call me Veronica”/”Yeah I’m Veronica but you got my name wrong, Anna comes first” to every single person who has to write or call their names.

    Post # 69
    403 posts
    Helper bee

    crackerjax :  PS. While on the subject of names….. Please don’t saddle your child with the following: Brittany, Lindsey, Eva, Ashley, Addison, Madison, Olivia or Isabel. Likewise, no-nos for your son: Ethan, Aidan, Alex, Jonathan, Noah or Jaden. These are over used, dated  2000-2016 names.  Your child and your child’s K teacher thank you in advance! 🙂

    Post # 70
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    A world of no. Bless the child’s heart, he/she will spend a lifetime explaining your choice to every teacher and petty functionary they encounter. Surely there are ways of honoring loved ones that don’t require you to name your kid Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III (Dot, for short). 

    Ultimately, you do you, and if there is cultural precedent or whatever, then far be it from me to criticize. It’s just that I’m exhausted for the kid just thinking about it.

    Post # 71
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

    I went to school with a girl who had 8 or 9 names.. i can’t remember how many exactly.. it sounded super pretty when she rattled them all off, but only 3 of those names were legal.  She had a legal first, middle, and last name.  The rest were just used wtihin the family.

    Post # 72
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Saint Domingue

    If your baby is a show dog this sounds like a tremendous idea (or ancient Roman nobility, but even they tended to use cognomens as their everyday names for one another.)

    Post # 73
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I have strong ideas about this… I apologize if anything I say is offensive!  Incoming rant!

    First off, I think kids should get their own names.  I really, really dislike naming kids after relatives (alive or dead) as a way to honor that relative.  It’s a lot of pressure, it can make things super confusing… my cousins named their first daughter after the husband’s mother, and now we have to call this poor little girl by her first AND middle name (a total of 5 syllables) just to tell them apart.  It’s obnoxious.  I see stories all the time of fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons getting their mail mixed up because they all have the same name, and it can even lead to mistaken identity theft.  Just give the poor kid their own name!  Then you never have to deal with “well, which Robert are we talking about here?”  There should only be one Robert.  Your name is your identity, and it can be really hard having to share such a huge part of your identity with somebody else.

    As for the actual mechanics – my husband is Vietnamese, and he and his siblings all have a first name, 3 middle names, and a last name.  In the case of my SIL, her first name is actually two names hyphenated together, and she only uses the second of those two names because the first half is her mother’s name AND HER AUNT’S NAME.  Yes, Mother-In-Law and aunt-in-law have the same first name.  It’s awkward and confusing and I don’t blame SIL at all for choosing not to use it as well.  So there’s a real-world example of a person being named after another person and actively rejecting it!  And if that’s not bad enough, she runs into the issue of people who want to call her by her legal name (teachers, doctors) and it makes her really uncomfortable having to explain.  It’s legitimately a form of identity crisis.  If you’re setting up your kid to have to explain their name a million times over the course of their life, you should really reconsider.  For that reason, the name you’re going to call them every day should be the first name.  All the people I know who go by their middle name (either because that’s how they were raised, or because their first name is dreadful) just let the first name fall by the wayside and effectively disappear, so what’s the point of putting it there in the first place?

    Multiple middle names can be really tricky US.  You can put them on the birth certificate, and even on the passport, but they don’t really fit anywhere else.  My husband uses the three initials for his drivers license and work ID, but there are SO MANY forms and questionnaires where there’s only room for 1 middle initial, so he just uses the first one.  It’s an issue every time we fly somewhere because your ticket has to match your ID, but he can only use his first middle initial when booking the tickets even though all three middle names show up in full on his passport.  Essentially, there’s no point to his extra middle names.  They just complicate things.

    Finally… if you have heaps of people you want to honor, and you can’t leave any of the names out, just don’t use them in the first place.  If you’re trying to honor everybody, essentially you’re honoring nobody.  There’s no point if all of the names are equally important and everybody is included.  It just seems so bizarre that you either have to have a half-dozen kids to honor everybody you’d like to, or give each kid a cumbersome number of names.  What if you end up only able to have one kid?  Just raise your child(ren) to know who their relatives are/were, and to respect the contribution they made to the family, and call it good.

    End rant.  Like I said, I have strong feelings.

    Post # 74
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Greenspot Farms

    Well you asked for opinions so, I think this sounds atrocious. My best friend has 2 middle names and hates it. I cannot imagine having such a long name. Filling out forms in their future would be a nightmare. I think cramming a whole bunch of names together does take away from the specialness of one name. So ya, I would not personally do this.

    Post # 75
    770 posts
    Busy bee

    bibilicious :  Woah, reading the title, I thought it meant two middle names, first name, and last name. But four names and a last name… that’s too much.

    The topic ‘How do you like four names for a baby? And do the "first name" have to be first?’ is closed to new replies.

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