(Closed) How do you list these people?! AH!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Married is "Mrs" (unless they prefer Ms), even if they’ve kept their maiden name. Write as: Mr. John Smith & Mrs. Jessica Abba.

Miss is if you’re single (and, generally under 18, or at the very most, under 25). Otherwise, it’s generally Ms (>25 and single/widowed/divorced, etc.).

Post # 5
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was told it’s Miss for a single woman and Ms. if you are unsure of whether or not she’s single or in any other scenario.

Post # 6
174 posts
Blushing bee

I always use Ms. if a woman is older than her early 20’s, regardless of whether she has been married or not. Personally, I do not like being addressed as Miss.

I addressed widowed women as Mrs. 

Married with different names:

Ms. Jessica Alba and Mr. Cash Warren
XYZ street

Not married, same address:

The "and" indicates marriage. If they were not married it would read:
Ms. Jessica Alba
Mr. Cash Warren
XYZ Street

Post # 7
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It is Miss if you’re young, Ms. if your older and single, Mrs. when married and still Mrs. when you’re a widow. Those are the ones I know.

Post # 8
174 posts
Blushing bee

FYI here’s the Emily Post guide for married woman keeping her name:

I messed up a half dozen of my invites using Mrs. Keeping Maiden Name and Mr. and had to redo them.

Also, if she’s keeping her name she is listed first on the invite and then him.

Post # 9
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I know I will never want to be called "Mrs" even though I am planning to change my name.  I didn’t know that it was technically correct to refer to a person as "Mrs" even if they have not changed their name.

I was completely non-traditional and listed my invites as:

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith 

even when women had changed their names.  I only used Mrs. if I thought the person would prefer it (e.g. FI’s grandmother who’s a widow would hate to be "Ms.").  I don’t think I used Miss for anyone…can’t recall now.  This was my minor feminist backlash against the whole process.  I also put people’s name on the same line b/c I figured it’s not up to me to decide if their relationship is different to a marriage.  I’m pretty sure none of that is proper etiquette, but I don’t think I offended anyone either.

I vote for "Ms." if you’re unsure or if the person is over like 20 or 25 (depending on your friends).

Post # 11
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ms. differs from Miss and Mrs. in that is does not indicate marital status. It is an alternative for women who prefer not to be defined by their relationships. It simply is a formal title of address like Mr.

Post # 12
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

From everything I read, Miss is appropriate for children only. Females under 16 should be addressed as Miss and males under 10 as Master.

Even though my title is changing in less than 20 days now, I still prefer "Ms. Edamame" as opposed to "Miss Edamame". For friends of mine who have addressed their invites to me as "Miss", I feel like I’m being invited to a Cotillion instead of a Wedding.

Post # 13
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, that’s a lot of confusion! I go by Ms. because it sounds older (and probably will still when I get married — I’m a teacher and little kids call everyone Ms).  All this confusion is why I’m just addressing our invitations like I would any other mail (i.e. liz & allen jones).

Post # 14
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ms is used frequently by women who prefer not to be defined by their relationship status (Mrs/Miss) it is used by women who indentify with feminist ideologies. I come from a feminist family and we all go by Ms, regardless of married or single status.

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