Post # 1
I really want have a co-ed shower, but some of the logistics are starting to make me wonder if it can work. It seems like you’re basically doubling the guest list of a normal shower, since you’re adding significant others and groomsmen… how do you keep the guest list reasonable so the whole event isn’t ridiculously expensive? Between our immediate family and wedding party (+ significant others), we have 26 people. Plus we would want to invite some close friends, another 10-15 people, and maybe some additional family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) – maybe another 10-15 people? That gives me a max of about 60 people (including children) – does that seem like a lot for a co-ed shower?
How do you make it fun for guests? I mean, men don’t want to sit around watching us open presents. Since we’re craft beer fanatics, one idea we had was to have the shower also be a beer-tasting event (like a wine tasting), so that we could share our love for craft beer with our friends and family.
Would it be alright to have an array of appetizers rather than a meal? We’re thinking about having it at a brewery – would it be OK if it were a cash bar, or should we provide drinks?
Would our guests *generally* shop from our registries, like a normal shower? I’ve seen ideas for themed co-ed showers, where guests bring gifts relevant to the theme (wine, travel, etc), but (…and here is where I sound really selfish and greedy…) I’m really excited about registering for things for my fiance and I, like things for our house, and maybe some man-type stuff too for him. I know that probably sounds bad, but so many of our things are hand-me-downs, it would be nice to have some newer, nicer stuff (nothing crazy luxurious – most of the stuff we planned to register for would come from Target or similar stores).
I have so many questions! Please share any experiences (good or bad) or advice you have related to co-ed showers!
Post # 3
wow, it does seem like a lot of people! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping the party to just the bridal party and your immediate family and closest friends. Don’t think there is a true etiquette here…
A brewery sounds great! I’m kind of thinking I might do a wine tasting. And even to me, the thought of opening all my presents in front of people bores me to tears…and is quite awkward! If you don’t, I doubt very many people will miss it. Appetizers sound great! If you put it at a non-eating time (say, 2PM), then I think light apps is sufficient. There’s no rule that says you have to feed people a full meal.
Post # 4
I recently went to a co-ed shower and it wasn’t planned too well, it definitely split into the guys and the gals separately. While the girls were doing the usual “shower” stuff, like playing games, opening presents, the guys were hanging out in a separate room drinking beer and watching sports. To make it work, definitely gotta plan some co-ed activities and not make it too “shower”-like.
Post # 5
Oh goodness, I read the thread wrong, and I literally thought you meant like a shower shower! I was like well, I have never thought of a shower orgy before.
Anyways, just have some together time, and then offer the genders to split off into more fitting things like girl talk and sports on t.v. or what not. It depends on the crowd of poeple too. Maybe everyone can just be involved and mix and mingle
Post # 6
Well from what I have seen. The only guys that came to my FSIL’s baby shower was my Future Father-In-Law and the men who are married to a sister of the couple. And a couple other men. There was alot of room left over. Most men dont go. AT least parties that I have been to.
Post # 8
@Eva Peron: I thought the same thing!
Post # 9
@TheMrs2013: ha! Phew , glad I’m not the only one!
Post # 10
@Eva Peron: I was thinking my life was pretty dull, here this girl is, having parties in her shower!
Post # 11
To stay more on topic, I have never been to a co-ed bridal shower (either in my bathroom or for a wedding). I did go to a Jack and Jill baby shower, there was lots of food so the men were happy to eat the entire time while the mom-to-be opened presents.
Post # 12
I would LOVE to have a co-ed shower because Fiance and share so many friends, it seems silly to have on of the showers where you have coffee and cake and sit down and ooohhhhh and ahhhhh over gifts with just girls. I hate shower games anyways, I’d rather have a PARTY.
I’ve been to several co-ed baby showers and here’s how they work:
You have sort of and “open house” type shower. You serve cocktails (or beer in your case) and appetizers and set a time, but let people know its open house so that you get a steady stream of people and no one is obligated to stay long. You and Fiance (or mommy and daddy) hang out in the same place and let guest come to you (let your BM’s, relatives, etc) do the greeting and serving so everyone is relaxed. You open gifts and chit chat, then when the next guest comes it, move on. The showers I’ve been to are nice because you the get one-on-one time to congradulate the happy couple, and mingle with some other friends and new people you don’t know yet. I usually shop from people’s regestries, the invite will look almost the same as a normal shower invite.
I understand this might seem cold to some people, but I always have a ton of fun at these showers, and people are so much more relaxed and having fun.
GO FOR IT! Its your wedding, do what is special to you, showers included!!!!