(Closed) How do you make it clear that kids are not invited?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

On the invite just be CLEAR how many people you are inviting. If it is just your cousin and SO write on the invite.

Mr. & Mrs Cousin

 

Then inside, we have reserved 2 seats in your honor.

__/2 will attend

__/2 will not attend

So it is clear you are only inviting 2 people.

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@missrobots: How are people RSVPing?

 

If they are calling you to RSVP you could just make it clear there. If they are RSVP’ing online, just make sure it says “Adult only reception” somewhere.

Post # 6
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You can write “adult reception” on the bottom of the invite.  or “dinner and cocktails” or something suggesting that it’s not really kid-friendly.  And lastly, you can write the names of the invited on the envelope(s).  The rule of thumb is, if your name isn’t on the envelope then you’re not invited.

Post # 7
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I recently received an invitation that said “adult reception to follow” at the bottom. Perhaps you can do something like that? (Although that might be an etiquette no-no I’m really not sure… At least it gets the point across though!)

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@missrobots: if no RSVP cards, then I’d put “Adults Only” somewhere on the invite – maybe the bottom right – in a smaller font (similar to where you’d put dress code info).

But, now you have me curious – why no RSVP cards?

Post # 9
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If you’re not having any kids at all you could indicate on your invitation that it is an adults-only reception.

Post # 11
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I went through the same thing! I wasn’t sure how to suggest that I wanted an adult only wedding without being rude.  My planner helped me out on this one. She told me the best way to handle it is add a message on the website.  And then I did pocket style invites and we added the following wording on my Reception Card…

“For our adult guests, please join us for cocktails, dinner, and dancing immediately following the ceremony”

I really don’t want children at the ceremony either, but my planner said most people will not bring their kids to the ceremony if they aren’t bringing them to the reception.

 

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@missrobots: Then when they call or e-mail to RSVP you can ask them the names of everyone who is coming. Make sure to put Adult Reception on the invite and you can also say “we have reserved 2 seats for you” on the invite as well so it is clear.

But if they try to say “little sally and jimmy are coming too” you can tell them that unfortunately there are no kids at the reception.

Post # 13
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was planning to put something like ” x amount of seats reserve in your honor”

Post # 15
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I didn’t indicate children are not invited, I have the inner envelope addressed to only those actually invited “cousin and husband”; I hope I don’t run into kids being invited by the parents!

Post # 16
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I thought I had done enough to convey the no-kids rule. I have it clearly (and politely) spelled out on our website, and I sent a “save the date” email several months in advance with links to the website for details. I also spread the news via word-of-mouth and even cleared it with a couple of specific people (like my cousin) whom I wanted to be sure would be able to come anyway.

Just yesterday, I received the RSVP from my FH’s boss with FIVE people written in. Ugh. (No worries – FH is going to set him straight.) Now I wish I had put “Adult Reception” right on the invitation, or used the “We have reserved two seats in your honor” approach on the RSVP card.

Yes, formal etiquette rules say not to put this on the invitation, but I say, “ppphhhtttthhhhh” to that, especially if you are having a casual affair. And I figure, if your guests don’t know enough etiquette to understand that the names on the envelope indicate who is (and isn’t) invited, then they won’t know that putting “adult reception” on the invitation is an etiquette no-no, too. If you’re really firm on this, better to be safe than sorry!

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