Post # 1
I want to invite my cousins, and would love it they can come, but understand if they would not come as I’m not inviting their children. My fear, though, is that they will not understand that by addressing invitiation to only the adults I mean only adults are invited. I know word of mouth is probably the ideal way, but we do not really have regular contact with the extended family. I love my aunt my mom loves her sister, but they’re both busy ladies and do not have regular chat sessions. I suppose I can put a message on our website, but I really don’t think everybody is going to be looking at the website. Is it appropriate to put an insert that says something about no kids (in a polite way, of course)?
Post # 3
On the invite just be CLEAR how many people you are inviting. If it is just your cousin and SO write on the invite.
Mr. & Mrs Cousin
Then inside, we have reserved 2 seats in your honor.
__/2 will attend
__/2 will not attend
So it is clear you are only inviting 2 people.
Post # 4
Oh, I forgot to mention we are not doing RSVP cards. Thanks, though!
Post # 5
@missrobots: How are people RSVPing?
If they are calling you to RSVP you could just make it clear there. If they are RSVP’ing online, just make sure it says “Adult only reception” somewhere.
Post # 6
You can write “adult reception” on the bottom of the invite. or “dinner and cocktails” or something suggesting that it’s not really kid-friendly. And lastly, you can write the names of the invited on the envelope(s). The rule of thumb is, if your name isn’t on the envelope then you’re not invited.
Post # 7
I recently received an invitation that said “adult reception to follow” at the bottom. Perhaps you can do something like that? (Although that might be an etiquette no-no I’m really not sure… At least it gets the point across though!)
Post # 8
@missrobots: if no RSVP cards, then I’d put “Adults Only” somewhere on the invite – maybe the bottom right – in a smaller font (similar to where you’d put dress code info).
But, now you have me curious – why no RSVP cards?
Post # 9
If you’re not having any kids at all you could indicate on your invitation that it is an adults-only reception.
Post # 10
We’re doing RSVP by phone or email only. I am on a serious budget, and it seemed like a good place (of many) to cut costs. I know everybody will not agree with it, but I’m okay with that. We’re having a simple, more casual affair. When you have a $6000 budget you cut costs where you can.
Post # 11
I went through the same thing! I wasn’t sure how to suggest that I wanted an adult only wedding without being rude. My planner helped me out on this one. She told me the best way to handle it is add a message on the website. And then I did pocket style invites and we added the following wording on my Reception Card…
“For our adult guests, please join us for cocktails, dinner, and dancing immediately following the ceremony”
I really don’t want children at the ceremony either, but my planner said most people will not bring their kids to the ceremony if they aren’t bringing them to the reception.
Post # 12
@missrobots: Then when they call or e-mail to RSVP you can ask them the names of everyone who is coming. Make sure to put Adult Reception on the invite and you can also say “we have reserved 2 seats for you” on the invite as well so it is clear.
But if they try to say “little sally and jimmy are coming too” you can tell them that unfortunately there are no kids at the reception.
Post # 13
I was planning to put something like ” x amount of seats reserve in your honor”
Post # 14
Thank you. I will definitely use the “adult reception to follow” technique.
Post # 15
I didn’t indicate children are not invited, I have the inner envelope addressed to only those actually invited “cousin and husband”; I hope I don’t run into kids being invited by the parents!
Post # 16
I thought I had done enough to convey the no-kids rule. I have it clearly (and politely) spelled out on our website, and I sent a “save the date” email several months in advance with links to the website for details. I also spread the news via word-of-mouth and even cleared it with a couple of specific people (like my cousin) whom I wanted to be sure would be able to come anyway.
Just yesterday, I received the RSVP from my FH’s boss with FIVE people written in. Ugh. (No worries – FH is going to set him straight.) Now I wish I had put “Adult Reception” right on the invitation, or used the “We have reserved two seats in your honor” approach on the RSVP card.
Yes, formal etiquette rules say not to put this on the invitation, but I say, “ppphhhtttthhhhh” to that, especially if you are having a casual affair. And I figure, if your guests don’t know enough etiquette to understand that the names on the envelope indicate who is (and isn’t) invited, then they won’t know that putting “adult reception” on the invitation is an etiquette no-no, too. If you’re really firm on this, better to be safe than sorry!