(Closed) How do you make it clear that kids are not invited?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I would make it clear to both moms and anyone else in your immediate family that kids are not invited, because someone will eventually ask.

You could also include a little note in the invites to those with kids saying, “We so wish we could have also invited your kids, but due to space restraints we’ve been limited to an adults only reception.  Thank you in advance for understanding!”

I am still considering doing this in ours.  We’re allowing babies and kids that are first cousins, but we just don’t have room for FI’s cousins 20 million kids, even though they are all adorable.

Post # 18
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Clearly state how many people are invited as a pp stated.

You can’t stop people from doing what they want to do though, so I would also have family/friends casually spread the word around that it’s adult only.

I had kids at my wedding so I didn’t have this issue, but I was married on Halloween and we knew we had to put the smack down from the get go about people wearing costumes so we had family and friends spread the word and everyone ended up wearing proper attire. Never underestimate the power of family and friends spreading the word.

Post # 19
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not only did we write in on our RSVP card, but we also called those with kids to inform them and remind them that no kids were allowed….and one couple still asked to bring their kids and we had to tell them again no.

In all, about 2 families/couples did not end up coming and will ultimately be the reason why in the future there will be tension with these families….it just has not been the same since the wedding. 

Everyone else was very understanding and really cool about it.  You just need to be direct and consistent and polite.  Stick to your guns…..its your day; your way.

Post # 20
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I am having the kind of wedding that would make you ladies quiver in horror: 63 kids so far and not all the rsvp’s are in yet! That being said, I fully support any B and G who, for whatever reason (budget, style and time of reception, ill-behaved nephews etc) choose to have a child free wedding. a quick google brought up these beauties! forget the discrete wording – make it damn well clear!

 

[attachment=1436255,182233] [attachment=1436255,182234]

Post # 21
Member
10983 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We put “adults only reception” on the STDs & the invites.  But, some people are pretty thick when it comes to their kids & we just had to contact them directly & make sure they were clear on the concept.

Post # 22
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@blossom_bee: LOL! That’s hilarious.

Traditional etiquette would say indicating who is NOT invited on the invitation materials is in bad form–that includes “adults only reception.” But it’s becoming more and more common and it’s your wedding, so your choice as to whether you want to follow that etiquette.  

However, just from having read about kids and weddings over and over on the Bee, I warn you that as Sassy411 says, people are blind when it comes to their children. You can do everything under the sun and people will STILL read “adults only” and think “Oh, but OUR kids MUST be the exception, of course.” Expect that they will call you, cross out the “2” that you’ve written into their RSVP card and write “4” write in their kids names, complain to your mom, etc. etc. So in preparation, write up a script for you or preferably someone OTHER than you or FI–like your parents–becuase it tends to be stronger when the family pulls rank, rather than the couple themselves, to make those inevitable phone calls.

And then prepare yourself for the possibility that if people can’t bring their kids, then some adults won’t come either, as is their right to do.

Post # 23
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

i think it’s fine not to have kids there, but I find actually writing it on an invite quite rude and and might be hurtful.  I think it’s more polite to have a conversation if there is any doubt.  If you only place the names of the two adults on the invite, people already know this means that their kids are not invited. 

 

Post # 24
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i say assume stupidity, as it is surprising when it will pop up.  ๐Ÿ™‚ put it on the invite. I wanted kids at my wedding, but it’s a budget thing… I’ll be putting something along the lines of: ‘please feel free to bring children to the ceremony, but take the night off and get a sitter for our child-free reception’. I will actually have two babies at the wedding, as two of my bridesmaid will be breast-feeding teir newborns, but I don’t think anyone will have an issue with that. And if they do they can keep it to themselves. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 24
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i say assume stupidity, as it is surprising when it will pop up.  ๐Ÿ™‚ put it on the invite. I wanted kids at my wedding, but it’s a budget thing… I’ll be putting something along the lines of: ‘please feel free to bring children to the ceremony, but take the night off and get a sitter for our child-free reception’. I will actually have two babies at the wedding, as two of my bridesmaid will be breast-feeding teir newborns, but I don’t think anyone will have an issue with that. And if they do they can keep it to themselves. ๐Ÿ™‚

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