(Closed) How do you motivate your SO to work out?

posted 7 years ago in Fitness
Post # 32
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’d just start by yourself. Hopefully once he sees how great you feel, he’ll want to join you 🙂

Post # 33
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@desiree.0615:  Every time he eats something, I eat too even of I am not hungry. I do not have to loose weight but I have to tone muself a lot so I get the workout issue. My SO keeps tellingme I should workout but when we are together he wants to spend time together, instead telling me “go to gym!” as I wish he did.

Post # 34
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014


Post # 36
110 posts
Blushing bee

Why don’t you start eating healthier and going to the gym by yourself first? When he sees the pounds melting off you and how hot you are becoming, he will be more motivated to join you! haha.


Post # 37
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@desiree.0615:  I agree with everyone who said just go about it yourself and talk about how good you feel with endorphins in your body.  Also, agree with eating healthier– it probably goes hand-in-hand with the gym but it seems like people drop pounds a LOT faster if they change their diet and don’t go to the gym daily, as opposed to going to the gym daily and not really changing diet or letting yourself have unhealthy food as a reward for going to the gym.


Also- about the gym, some people just aren’t gym people and that’s ok.  Fiance hates the gym but found that playing tennis is what works for him and now he found a tennis buddy.  I also don’t like the gym but I really like doing classes like zumba.  Agree that it has to be fun and it can’t feel like work, try seeing what his “thing” is whether it’s riding a bike, taking walks, basketball, tennis, etc. 

Post # 38
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I got a box of sex checks and I told him every time he works out he can use a check. We have sex regularly (3x a week) but the extra incentive is helping a lot! He goes to the gym with me at least four times a week now!

Post # 39
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

desiree.0615 I’m sure some folks might not agree. But men speak fluent sports and sex. Every other communication skill can be broken but those two usually aren’t LOL.  

I had the same problem with Fiance. We were both working out and had moderate fitness commitment levels as single people. Once we got together and started feeling comfortable and “off the dating circuit”. we relaxed and snacked together and before we knew it 6 mos later we’re both 15 lbs heavier.

We talked about it lightly, and never did anything until I just started going to the gym myself. I watched what I ate and felt sexier in a about a month. I wouldn’t make him feel bad about the junk he was eating, never said a word I just politely declined.

After I while I started wearing these hot little workout outfits( then he definitely wanted to be with me at the gym, to see who I was getting all sexy for LOL)

…and trying some new yoga moves in the bedroom (which required more flexibility & stamina). He definitey wanted to keep up!

next thing, he signs up for a membership. He was determined to keep up with me. Doing those things did more than saying 1 word. Nobody wants to be the guys with the hot wife, and everyone is wondering how you got her, or men are always trying to pick her up. Now we work out together…


Post # 40
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

@desiree.0615:  Definitely get into a routine on your own.  Needing a buddy holds you back from your goals.  You always have yourself with you and you are always available at the same time as yourself, which makes you your best workout buddy.  Having to schedule around someone else adds hurdles to your goals and provides a built in excuse to skip workouts.  If you like the idea of being with others, attend a group fitness class like yoga, barre, pilates, or zumba. 

Post # 41
1837 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

just start going on your own. either he’ll feel guilty/motivated to go with you or he won’t, but either way at least you’ll be doing something good for yourself.  i run 4x/wk and my husband does go to the gym but not regularly.  i would be thrilled if he wanted to go running with me, but for the forseeable future, that just isn’t going to happen and i’ll continue to do my own thing.

Post # 42
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Every time he does work out, be active, or eat healthy, praise him. It sounds silly, but my Fiance is highly motivated when I tell him how much I can tell his working out is paying off, how good he looks, how attractive he is, and how proud I am of him. Men love praise!

Post # 43
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

dont know what might work for you but this one works for us (gosh cant believe im sharing this)


sexy workout clothes! He cant resist if I look good while Im working out.  If its a day that Im using heavy weights, Ill ask him to spot me which in turn has him wanting to push the limits and I spot him.  Dont even get me started on yoga… just do something that makes him want to watch! mine winds up joining in and let your imagination go from there… more calories burnt!

oh and the doberman puppy we are trying to get has him wanting to jog more.  My ex navy man cant stand it if I can out do him.


Post # 44
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I went to a personal trainer, enrolled us both on the spot and paid. I then told him about it later, risking that he would be upset. He was actually very receptive, though exercise is still a love/hate relationship for him. It’s even made our relationship stronger. The invested time, very hard work and money motivates him to eat really, really healthy now in an effort to “protect his investment”. And, his losing twelve pounds in the first two weeks was a great kick start, too. I do make it a point to encourage him to have at least one meal per week (usually on the weekend) where he can “splurge”… Whatever he wants (though I don’t encourage him to way however MUCH he wants. Lol). That seems to keep him fairly sane, and truly keeps me on track with his help and support.


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