(Closed) How do you NOT get your hopes up?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That is so hard (for me at least) and if you get some good advice, share it with me!  I will say though that it’s actually never as bad as I think it will be (the anticipation that is) and I usually am having so much fun in the moment that I don’t think about it and so I don’t really get disappointed until after. I would just keep trying to remember that the camping trip will be a good memory and a fun time for you guys regardless.  

But I will still cross my fingers you get something sparkly!

Post # 4
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

Well I’ve hoped so many times and it hasn’t happened so I learned not to get all excited anymore. I suppose it might be a good thing thing since even though I think about it all the time, im never expecting it. If he did decide to propose one day he’d surely catch me off guard lol

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

There is no real way to not get your hopes up because they will always be there. Just try to pre-occuoy your time with other things.. like gym, shopping, reading… It helps!

Post # 6
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

@DulcetMute:  I agree with you. Its usually alot worse after the fact thinking why didn’t he propose then but in the moment you don’t really think about it!

Post # 7
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Seashells7:  Distract yourself. Try to focus on something else. If my guy was about to propose I would definitely be excited and on pins and needles as well… so obviously it isn’t easy… but unless you have some clear signs of it then I would try to tell yourself that it WILL happen but it might not happen right now. And that’s ok because you know he loves you and you know he will propose soon.

Post # 9
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Agreed, unless you KNOW it is going to happen, I wouldn’t get excited. If you get all worked up about, it could ruin what a good time it is suppose to be.

Post # 10
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

What I told someone else, and I have no idea if this works lol is to pick a date in the future (some holiday not too close and not too far) and pretend he told you that’s when it will happen. You can get him in on it too and get him to encourage that particular date. That way you have no reason to believe it’s going to happen any other day and you can be surprised whenever it happens ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I try to think of a moment when I was so happy and in love that it doesnt matter whether Im waiting or married or anything. Moments that are like “who cares about anything, I could wait forever for this man because Im that happy”. I usually think of this moment when we were just sitting on the steps of our (rented) house. It was so nice outside and we were just talking and laughing and completely relaxed. Then he turned to me and said “You know, someday you are going to be my wife. I hope you know that”. I melted, everything was just so beautiful and happy, who cares if I have a ring or not…I could spend a lifetime with moments just like that. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I really think you shouldn’t get your hopes up if for the sole reason of it will ruin the surprise. I was VERY impatient about getting engaged, it was starting to seem like it was never going to happen (and now I’m getting married in 38 DAYS!!!). Needless to say, it happened. And I was always so worried about when and trying to predict when he was going to propose taht I wasn’t all that surprised when he did it. If I could go back I would have tried to not think about it

Post # 14
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

And I know everyone is saying don’t get excited unless there are clear signs… but I say don’t even get excited then! Try and ignore the signs ๐Ÿ™‚ (even though that’s obviously impossible)

Post # 15
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m struggling with this today. He and I are headed to the beach the weekend after next and, though he has to head home Monday, I am then spending the whole week with my ENTIRE extended family who I never see. I would love for him to propose there and then for me to be able to celebrate with my family…

 

I know he’s having a ring made, but so far he hasn’t tried to plan ANYthing for the few days he’ll be at the beach with me… and he’s not asked my dad’s permission like I know he wants to do. All signs are pointing to him not asking.

 

I didn’t think it would make me sad, but it has. Just a teeny bit.

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