- 3 weeks ago
I am 27 and my boyfriend is 25. We’ve been together for nearly 3 years (our 3 year anniversary is in a couple of weeks). We have been living together for 2 years and have built a life together (honestly, we are basically a married couple already). We have a (rented) place together, own all of our furniture together, have a shared bank account (in addition to individual accounts), have shared credit cards and 6 months ago we got a puppy together (he’s now 8 months old).
About 1.5 years ago (so 1.5 years into our relationship), we had the “timeline talk”. At the time, we decided that we would get engaged by the end of 2022 and start trying for kids when I’m around 30. At the time, I would have preferred about 1 year earlier for everything. But in the grand scheme of things, 1 year doesn’t make any difference. I’m not leaving him because we are 1 year off on our “ideal” timelines.
Anyways, this past weekend we had an updated timeline talk to make sure we were still on the same page. We were and we mutually agreed to move the timeline up a bit. We decided to start trying for kids by the time I was 29.5. I also asked him if he planned to wait until the end of next year to propose. He said he definitely wouldn’t wait until then and it would be a lot sooner. Basically, we decided that he would propose some time within the next year (between now and next June). I also found out that he’s been planning a proposal and has looked at rings / wrote down a bunch that he thought I would really like. I was surprised because he never mentioned this to me. But he also said he doesn’t plan to involve me at all in the proposal planning so of course he wasn’t going to say anything to me (this is what I would prefer as well). Based on what I could gather, it sounds like he has a very specific date or time of year in mind.
I am very happy he has told me he’s planning this, but it almost made me MORE worried about when we will get engaged. It seems more real since he told me that and I want it NOW. I am VERY impatient.
I love surprises and I really do want this to be a complete surprise. However, I am also a bit of a control freak and like to have control over everything. So I am kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place lol. I wish I could just know when and how this was happening (at least a specific month), but without actually asking him lol (I’m not snooping his computer… plus he looks all of this stuff up via private browsing / incognito). The one thing that I am NOT concerned about in the least is the ring. I am not very particular with that sort of stuff. I never wear jewelery besides earrings (and they’re usually small and simple earrings). He said he was looking for a ring that was simple yet pretty, which is exactly what I told him during a brief 20 second conversation about this 2 years ago (can’t believe he remembered that! He normally has a memory of a goldfish lol). I think choosing a ring out would be way too stressful for me so I am thankful he’s doing it haha.
All that I know is that it will happen sometime within the next 12 months. We are in no rush. It still works great with our timeline for kids, we live together and are basically married already. So he has time to plan a great proposal (he keeps saying that he wants it to be perfect). How does someone as impatient as me wait this long without going insane?! It’s been 3 days since I found out he’s planning it and I’m already going crazy! Any advice?
I keep bugging him about it and, although he’s being very sweet, he is likely getting annoyed. He keeps saying “Please just relax and let me take care of this. You don’t need to do anything. I just want to give you a nice surprise”. To be clear, I DO want a surprise (he’s not forcing a surprise on me), but I’m also a control freak which makes waiting hard lol.