(Closed) How do you not invite co-workers in a nice way?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I work at a school and there is no way I can invite all of my teacher friends.  When they ask about the wedding, I am vague.  I don’t start a conversation about it, either.  Every so often I talk about how it’s so hard because we have big families and I am not going to be able to invite a lot people outside of my immediate family. They all agree that it’s tough and don’t really seem to expect an invite.

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think your co-workers would expect to be invited especially as you haven’t worked there very long, so I wouldn’t worry too much about offending them. If you would like them to feel welcome to go and watch your ceremony (if it’s possible) you could always say something like “unfortunately we weren’t able to invite co-workers but if anyone is interested you can come and watch the ceremony at X…” I think you can talk about your wedding as much as people seem to want to hear it – some people won’t care but others are just genuinely interested so I wouldn’t worry too much!

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

when i was working and got engaged, my coworkers of course were interested as well. i told them that we’re having a small wedding. i thought they’d be disapointed because we had just all gone to my boss’s wedding and it was the topic of conversation for months. but a lot of people told me how smart i was to have a small wedding, and that was that. (since then i quit so i don’t have to worry about it, but at the time i was worrying about inviting everyone, we just didn’t have room for everyone and their guests.)

Post # 6
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

If you’ve already talked about the wedding with them, I think the best thing to do would be to start mentioning how you’re bummed that you can’t invite everyone that you know to the wedding, but that it’s a rather small affair. Don’t assume that they want to be invited by telling them they’re not invited, but state that you are having a small wedding with close friends and family, and they’ll get the hint.

Post # 7
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your wedding is so soon, if you haven’t talked to your coworkers specifically about having them there, I don’t think they’ll expect to be invited.  And they probably won’t be hurt when they find out for sure they’re not on the guest list.  Your boss is probably just excited to share her own experiences and to hear your ideas.  It’s kind of like being on here… we just like to hear about each others’ wedding ideas- we don’t want to GO to them!

People in my office talk to me allllll the time about my wedding, I’m not inviting any of them.  For a while I felt bad about it, but think about it… these people are your coworkers.  They probably know approx how much money you make, and probably know (from all the wedding chit chat) that your wedding is not huge with an unlimited budget.  They will understand.

If anyone asks, just tell them the truth- just close friends and family.  Stick to your guns, don’t let them guilt you into increasing your guest count! 

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