(Closed) How do you pick your bridal party??

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you just need to do it naturally. Don’t stress too much over it, but consider family. I wasn’t as big of a fan of having my cousin in the wedding party either, but I knew it meant a lot to her. She actually got pregnant and was due the week before my wedding, so she stepped down knowing she might not be able to make it. Shortly after, she lost the baby, and I knew I had to ask her to be in it again. It’s just something you have to do sometimes.

Good luck with your choice!

Post # 4
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I picked my sister, my Future Sister-In-Law, and my closest friend. I think asking his sister would be a really nice gesture. She can always say no if she’s not interested, or, if she says yes and then acts disinterested, that’s no biggie, you have your 2 close friends!!! 🙂

Post # 5
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think that Ottowabride is right about asking the sister. And if you want to keep it even and sister says yes, you have an out for cousin. Sisters trump cousins. If the sister says no, I would probably default to the cousin, just to keep good blood. UNLESS you have another close friend or something you really did want in it and they would be taking her place, but it doesn’t sound like that.

I am also having a hard time. My sister invited herself to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and I hadn’t planned on asking her but in the interest of peacekeeping, I let it go. I asked my FI’s two sisters. (He has a third sister, but she made it pretty clear that she wants nothing to do with our wedding before we even got engaged. If that has changed, I haven’t heard.) I really, really want to ask my three best friends from high school whom I am still close with, but Fiance doesn’t have that many people to ask, and I don’t want uneven sides. 🙁

Post # 6
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am having two of my cousins as BM’s, one friend who I’ve known forever, another friend, and my Future Sister-In-Law (she’s engaged to my FI’s brother). So in total all 5 are good friends…and I’m also having my third girl cousin be my junior bridesmaid since she’ll only be 9. Good luck! It’s hard cause I have another friend that isn’t in it that I feel sort of bad about…but my Fiance cannot think of anyone else to be on his side…I already stuck him with one of my brothers lol.

Post # 7
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i know the initial excitement of getting engaged can make you feel like “i want every girlfriend/family member/coworker i know to be my BM!!” but honestly take your time and really think about who you want beside you during that day… not only for the ceremony but who will keep you calm in the morning getting ready, who is genuinely going to help you out, who will make you feel special and not take the spotlight or cause drama.

for me it was easy i guess because i don’t have that many girlfriends (like 4, seriously) and no close cousins or anything. i have one sis, who of course is my Maid/Matron of Honor (we are very close and shes my sis! ), then FI’s sister (we are not close but i soon realized that this would be an olive branch of sorts..she is my new family) and my best friend since 5th grade ( we have stayed friends for 17 years !! shes in! )

i also wanted a small wedding party… keep things simple. Fiance has soooooooooooooooo many guy friends though, he could’ve had 9 guys! but he didn’t care that much (and honestly i don’t think guys do!) so he said “yeah, 3 is fine.. whatever”

Post # 8
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I totally agree with Krissybee.  If only I had stopped and thought about that before…But hindsight is 20/20.  

I think asking SO’s sister is a good idea, as long as you have one or two girls you can really count on, her apathy shouldn’t get you down.  Maybe she’ll surprise you and start helping out a lot! 

Post # 9
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No one has any right whatsoever to demand a place in your bridal party. You pick whomever you are closest to and who is most supportive of you and your relationship. That means don’t include *anyone* out of obligation or because you are forced/guilted by others to do so, unless you would have chosen them in the first place.

Post # 10
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d say just pick whoever you feel comfortable with and if you don’t want your cousin or friend in it then just ask them to be readers (that’s how I dealt with my jealous sister). It’s a role that gets a bit of a spotlight, but doesn’t mean that they’ll be planning the bach or anything.

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