Post # 1
I am trying to pick my wedding party, it is hard for me because I moved out of state from where I am from 5 years ago and lost touch with almost all of my friends besides the occasional email or phone call. My old best friend got married and she changed, I was her Maid/Matron of Honor but because I only talked to her twice in the last year and a half I don’t feel she needs to return the favor. I do have some new friends in my new state but no one that I am extremely close too! SO at this rate I have no Maid/Matron of Honor and no bridesmaids, however I would like to have a small number. I do have a bunch of cousins, however again none that I am close too. I am in a bind. So would you use old friends? new friends? people you are no longer super close with but that you consider to be your friends? what about your MOH? an old friend from 27 years of friendship that you haven’t talked to in a while??? HELP!!
Post # 3
That’s a tricky situation. I had some gals I knew I needed, and there were others that I wanted as well but I had to talk with Fiance to see what he was thinking for numbers. I know it’s ‘unwedding/unhappy,’ but who would you call if something terrible happened and you couldn’t call FI? If you needed someone to pick up in the middle of the night or needed to talk to someone, who would be your go to girls (or guys, you can have bridesmen as well!).
I agree with many bees in that you don’t need to have matching/even sides, pick only those that are truly the people you want standing up there with you and supporting you through your marriage.
Post # 4
Ugh, i have the same problem! I agree with NDBee that your Maid/Matron of Honor should be the person you would call if Fiance wasn’t there. I also want to ask my FI’s sister, since I would like her to be in the wedding. After that, I’m in the same boat you are!
I hadn’t heard of having different numbers. That might be something I decide on.
Post # 5
This sort of thing is a lot tougher than it seems. When my friends started getting married 5 years ago, I was sure I’d have a ton of girls I HAD to include … now things have changed. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this. I hate that it is stressing you out when this should be a joyful time in your life!
I found myself in a similar situation. My Fiance has 2 sisters and so I felt obligated to ask them. My cousin recently had myself and another cousin in her wedding and so I went ahead and asked both of them. Then I picked my two closest friends … but honestly since they are both out of town, I don’t speak to them super-regularly …. I’m probably closer to a few coworkers.
I would think about who would be really excited and enthusiastic. My FI’s older sister has been really great in this regard. You say you aren’t close to any cousins, is there not one with whom you feel connected? The only reason I ask is because as you have experienced, friends can come and go, but family is likely to be around forever.
Without knowing your situation personally, I would suggest picking a cousin if any of them feel right to you, and then doing one old friend and one new. (If you only want 2, go with the new friend, or whomever is important in your life now).
Bottom line, bridesmaids are kind of a relic … they won’t have any effect on your marriage, so don’t worry about what you should or others expect you to have standing up for you just to fill space. Pick someone who makes you happy.
Post # 6
I am in the exact same dilemma as you are! I feel your pain! So far I have asked an old college roommate (who to be honest with I am not close with anymore because of distance factors) my cousin (who I am also not really close with) and a friend who I am moderately close with. Not sure who I am going to ask yet to be the Maid/Matron of Honor…. good luck…
Post # 7
Go with your gut. I have VERY close friends that I don’t talk to very often because we’re busy and on opposite sides of the country.
Who did you want to call RIGHT AWAY when you got engaged? Who would you call crying if you had a fight with your FI? Who do you call when you have a bad day and need to vent and grab some wine? Who do you see continuting being a part of the rest of your life (and helping you grow in your marriage?) Who understands you the best?
I picked two of my three based on the above criteria, and it was VERY obvious. 🙂 The third is my FI’s best friend.
Post # 8
There are so many factors that go into picking the wedding party- and I know of so many brides who may have filled spots differently because thye didn’t weigh all of their options before picking.
Check out this article about picking bridesmaids. There are also posts related to choosing groomsmen, ushers and personal attendants
I hope this helps! And Congrats!