Post # 1
I’ve been planning our wedding for over a year now. Within the last year, we’ve had a number of our family members suggest that they were willing to contribute to our wedding financially, (ie grooms parents, my grandparents etc) though no one has given us a dollar figure. At this point, between ourselved and my parents, we have the major $$$ items covered. (ceremony, reception, etc). I still need to book things like flowers, music and photography but I’m waiting for dollar figures from our family so I know what I can actually afford. I’m afraid if I wait too long, my favorite vendors are going to already be booked on our date.
So, how do I politely ask my family for money without sounding greedy or selfish? I’m wondering if they’re not too worried about it because our wedding date is still a year away. I’m fine if they changed their minds and decided not to contribute, I’d just like to know either way so I know what I can and can not afford.
Anyone else run into this problem?
Post # 3
@u_c2moore: Short answer: you don’t. Asking for money is never going to be polite.
Post # 4
I would try to bring up in conversation general wedding planning info and maybe they’ll say something? I know every time I mention putting deposits down or anything my Mom will tell me she can give me her contribution whenever.
Post # 5
I think it’s ok to ask since they’ve already offered. I would just be straight forward and say that you need to know what you’ll be able to afford, you understand if they no longer wish to contribute, but if they would then how much.
I’m going through this with fixing up our new house now. My parents said they would like to “help out” and my dad keeps saying he’ll “probably” pay for this and that. Well that’s great, but for a lot of things we can’t afford to do it unless they pay for it. If we pay, we’d have to wait a while to save. So finally I flat out said, please tell me what you will and will not pay for b/c I’m afraid we’ll do something and then be stuck with a bill we can’t pay. They’re happy that we’re watching our money and were happy to start being more clear about it all.
Post # 6
if they are local, invite them to come with you and help pick out things like flowers. they will likely offer to pay then and there.
Post # 7
My Future In-Laws never said that offered anything at the beginning, but as we have gotten deeper into planning, they have offered to pay for more. The other night we were talking about the cost of postage and my Future Mother-In-Law flat out said, “I’ll take care of it.” Later she called and told me that she wanted to go with me when I went shopping for bouquets (the only flowers I want to use). She said she wanted to buy that for me.
I guess what I would do is meet up with whoever offered to contribute and let them know that you are trying to get some of our preferred vendors booked, but that you’re not sure how much you have to spend. I would just say something like, “I remember you saying that you would like to contribute, and I have many areas in which you could help.” Then you could ask them how much they were thinking about contributing. Remind them that every little bit helps! Best of luck with this. Money is never an easy subject to talk about!!