(Closed) How do you prepare for married life?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know for us we are staying at each other’s places more often trying to ease into it. I have never lived with a guy either, just other girls, but I have a feeling living with a guy will be alot easier… hopefully not as much drama.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do you want to be a traditional wife? Seeing as how you have been reunited after 21 years, he’s probably quite capable of doing a lot of things for himself.

Really, respecting each others’ space is important. not just throwing things around and being a slop and expecting your SO to pick up after you. Living with a guy has been pretty easy for me (then again, i’ve lived with 46 other girls before, haha). I keep the bathroom door shut now and have some joint laundry and are considerate that we share living spaces with another human being. It’s about give and take a little more. I used to live alone so it was alway what *I* wanted to do.

For us, it’s been a seamless adjustment living-wise. He’s just easy to live with.

Post # 5
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have not read that book but the title made me curious so I looked it up on Amazon. The subtitle, “How the Ideal Woman Awakens A Man’s Deepest Love and Tenderness” made me cringe. You don’t have to become any sort of ideal woman. Your fiance already thinks you are his ideal woman – that’s why he wants to marry you! Be careful not to lose yourself in your new role as a wife. “Wife” is a relationship role, not a job description. Maintain your current hobbies, interests, and a degree of independence when you marry. That is what will keep you interesting to each other. Moreover, the title sounds like you are trying to awaken a “tender” part of your fiance you have’t seen before. Trust me, he doesn’t have some secret emotional side. He is who he is and if you’re hoping to change him after marriage, that is highly unlikely. Men are people, just like women are people. There is no secret code you have to unlock to understand them. Just be yourself.

Post # 6
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Fiance and i just started reading our male/female versions of “5 love languages” by Gary Chapman.

i think you’ll find it intriguing, fruitful, and eye-opening to a lot simple concepts of love 🙂

i think it’s a mix of patience, compromise, trust, and communication that makes love, co-habitation, marriage, etc. a relatively stable atmosphere (with a fight or two in the mix, cuz obviously we are all human and are bound to have a few altercations in life with one another)

Post # 7
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We didn’t move in together until we got engaged, although we did stay over at our own apts most nights. It is different though… Def. the most challeging part for us is the day to day upkeep of the house. I had never lived with a man either.

We found it helpful to have a litlte meeting and go over who is responsible for what. For example, Fiance does lawn cutting and I take care of the flower beds. Sounds silly, but talking about who is the main person in charge of things helped us. Esp. since we’re both used to doing everything.

I’m reading Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts which is nice (btw, this is FI’s second marriage) and we’re doing PreCana / Remarriage prep through our church.

Def. TALKING and discussing mundane household and day to day living is the best thing I’ve found so far. As fun as it was to start living together, it wasn’t always easy. and I wish we’d had our little house meeting upfront instead of as a result of several head-butting incidents.

Good luck! Have fun!

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I second what gibsonkk says!  Day to day household management is the most challenging aspect of living together.  He is the first guy I’ve lived with and it is quite a change from living by myself. We dated for a year before we became engaged and moved in together.  I am so glad we have this adjustment period before being married! And I will be buying that book “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts”!

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