How do you react if someone cries in front of you?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I usually begin crying instantly too. Ha

Post # 4
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I get uncomfortable too unless its a close friend. I think its because  im not a tactile person particularly so i am a stiff a d awkward hugger

Post # 5
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um, I cry too, which is also no help.

Post # 6
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I also get uncomfortable bc I never know the right thing to say or do and assume that it’s the wrong thing.  I just usually apologize and say I’m really sorry or try to crack a joke – although that doesn’t always work!  lol

Post # 7
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

As a teacher I get super empathetic.  Usually I rub their backs (or even my adult friends). Physical touch (even if you are just touching with a hand) can go a long way for comfort.  I rub in a soothing circular motion on their backs and just listen to what they have to say.  Most of the time you don’t need to say anything, just be there, even if it is awkward.

Post # 8
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Post # 9
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Hyperventilate:  hahaha love it! I would totally do that, unfortunately no one ever seems to cry in a place whee i have access to a broom!

Post # 10
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mrsbruff2b:  Most of the time you don’t need to say anything, just be there, even if it is awkward.

I agree with this completely.  Sometimes it can be awkward to sit in silence, but I think the simple act of being present with the person and letting them know you’re there if they need/want to talk can go a long way.  I’ve been told I’m a very empathetic person, though, so this actually comes pretty naturally to me.  

Post # 11
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

In most situations I cry too.  However, a lot of people have been crying in front of me at work lately, and I haven’t had nearly the same reaction that I normally do. It’s been like kind of a “I wish you weren’t crying right now, because your emotional outburst has the potential to hold up my day & I really want to leave at 5pm” type of thing.  I know it sounds really cold, but it is what it is.

Post # 12
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Hyperventilate:  Hahaha I love this!!

I guess it depends what their crying about, and where we are. For somereason the first thing to come to mind is my office mertyr, who cries at least once a month over something, if she opens the flood gates I am pretty unsympathetic. I hate when people cry at work over work stuff!

Unless its a close frind or family member then I generally get uncomfortable, but I try to comfort them… from a safe distance with a sponge boom

Post # 13
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh god, I feel SO awkward when people cry in front of me! I offer sort of tentative hugs or arm pats, and try to just listen and say sorry, but I’m so antsy the whole time (which makes me feel bad/guilty, and then I just get antsier lol)

Post # 14
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I generally just let them cry it out and try to say something to empathize with them. Since you’re in nursing school, you’ll have to learn how to “therapeutically communicate” 😉 A lot of patients cry for any number of reasons and you gotta learn to roll with the punches.

Post # 15
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Depends why they’re crying.

Normally, if it’s a suprise, I’m full of empathy but unfortunately act awkward at first.

If it’s fitting the discussion (“my grandpa just passed away last night”) it’s less of a surprise and I can roll with it better, keep talking about the topic, offer tissue, express agreement about how sad it is…etc.

If it’s a cry-baby… a person I know who cries too much and for unjustified reasons, I ignore it and get a little sharper-toned, indicating my annoyance.

Post # 16
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yep, always awkward.

HOWEVER, I think in your situation, you could console your friend by saying that even with a small family, a genogram is still incredibly valuable. It will point out patterns in her family history that will teach her so much about herself, her mom, and her sister. Not everyone has a huge family, but everyone’s family has a history.

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