(Closed) How Do You Really Feel About Children and Weddings?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should children be invited to weddings? (Let's say ceremony AND reception.)
    Children should always be invited. Weddings are about family. : (47 votes)
    22 %
    Invite children if you want, or don't.... I don't care. : (108 votes)
    50 %
    Children are disruptive and destructive. Weddings are too sophisticated for them. : (50 votes)
    23 %
    Other : (10 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

    We are all about the babies and kids in our families (both sides), so I say the more the merrier!

    Post # 4
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I love the title of this post, I just laughed so loud my coworker looked back at me like I’m nuts!  It’s like when someone rants about something, and afterwards you say in a decidedly sarcastic tone:

    "So tell us how you really feel!"  LOL!!

    (BTW my maternal instinct is still buried deep inside somewhere because I’m SO not a fan of kids anywhere…but especially weddings!  Hopefully that’ll change!)

    Post # 5
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it’s up to the individual wedding.  Also, like a lot of things, I think if you bring your infant/child you need to be prepared to stand up and leae with the child when they become fussy, even if that means missing the ceremony/toasts/cake cutting.  I cannot abide people that let their children scream and ruin everyone else’s wedding/dinner/movie.  And I love children!  I just think it’s important to be ready to leave if necessary…which I why I wouldn’t personally want to bring children to a wedding I was attending.

    Post # 6
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I think it all depends on the mood of the event. A wedding with a late reception and open bar is not a place for children, say, after 9 pm. But, a casual afternoon wedding with a buffet is a different story, not to mention it all depends on the personal opinions of the bride and groom.

    I have a small family with no small children, so it’s never an issue. 

    Post # 7
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I agree that it’s all about the tone of the wedding itself.  A very formal, sit-down dinner reception–probably not child-appropriate, and the parents would likely enjoy themselves far more if there were child care provided or they took the time to get a sitter.

    That being said, I couldn’t imagine having a wedding without the little ones in the family there, too.

    Post # 8
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    If you are extremely close to the children, I think they should be invited, otherwise, no. We are having an adults only reception, with the exception of our only niece, who is the flower girl. If we did include chidlren it would increase the list by over 20 people. We are on a budget and want something more intimate.

    Post # 9
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I think this is a "to each their own" situation.  Like angelastheboss said, it depends on the mood and style of the event and whether kids would have a good time and be comfortable there.  Frankly, most of the weddings I attended as a kid were not at all kid-friendly and I would have been much happier had my name NOT been on the invitation.  My brother and I used to beg our parents to leave us home with a sitter when they told us we were going to a wedding!

    I don’t like the intense guilt trip that sometimes gets laid on couples: "but children are FAMILY and weddings are about FAMILY and your marriage will be a SHAM if you don’t invite FAMILIES."  Putting that kind of emotional pressure on couples seems very manipulative to me.  I’m pretty sure the marriage is still legal even if no one under ten is there to see it!  Also, kids are resilient.  They will get over not being invited much more quickly than the couple would get over being bullied into including them.

    Post # 10
    497 posts
    Helper bee

    It  should be known that i voted for children always being invited…but didn’t have them at my own wedding.  Mr Corn and his family have a very different opinion on kids at weddings than my family.  In the end, his family won.

    Post # 11
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think kids are the best part of weddings. They are cute to look at and when they look bored- you know everyone else is thinking the same thing too.

    Post # 12
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I think it really depends on so many factors, including the personalities of the couple and the style and time of the wedding. An afternoon picnic would be great for kids, in my opinion, while a black tie affair that doesn’t start until 8:00 PM might not be the best place for the under 12 set.

    Personally, I love children and have worked as a teacher and nanny in the past, so kids will be more than welcome at our wedding. I’m so excited about putting together our kids’ table and menus!! 

    Post # 13
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I loved having kids at my wedding.  Now, whether their parents loved having them there is another story….

    Post # 14
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2008

    Personally I wanted my friends and family to feel comfortable bringing their children-and they did, but we had a casual affair. For couples putting on a really formal affair, it might be different.

    Post # 15
    397 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I will only have my 2 nephews and 2 neices at mine (ringbearers and FG’s).  There are SOOO many children amongst our family and friends that it would be crazy.  So I’m making it an adult reception with exception of them.  Plus the adults usually like to get away and have fun for a night without having to follow their little ones around all night!

    I think it depends on how formal or not your wedding is, and how many children there would be!!

    Post # 16
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I like kids enough and think they are pretty funny on the dance floor but am so not a fan of crying babies at the ceremony. I just feel bad for the bride and groom!

    Personally, we are not having kids at our destination wedding besides his 2 neices (1 is our flower girl) and nephew. They are all over the age of 6 too. Besides, there will be quite a bit of drinking at the reception and I just don’t know how I feel about exposing kids to that, especially since we have some friends/family friends who don’t drink. They would probably go home crying!

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