Post # 1
Odd question here, but we’re not sure where to start, or if it’s okay to try at all.
My partner has a cousin, who is more like a sister to him. He was raised in her household after his mother died. Her father was arrested when they were young teens, and they were separated by the foster system. He went into a group home and she went to a family. He was involved with some of the same activities her father had been at the time, and she decided to cut ties with that lifestyle, including him. They have not spoken since she was 16 and he was 18.
It has been 15 years since then. He has not followed in his uncle’s footsteps and is now an incredibly productive, good person. He clearly loves her and misses her, but out of respect for what she said, then, he has not attempted to contact her.
I think he would very much regret it if he didn’t at least try. She is the last of his living relatives, to his knowledge. She does come up on social media when he searches for her, and though her pages are private, there is an option to request to follow. So I don’t think he’s blocked.
Do you think it would be okay to at least reach out and ask if she’s interested in reconciling?
Post # 2
I absolutely think it’s ok! He should take it slow though and find out what she is comfortable with.
Post # 3
Bee, are you asking if it would be okay for him to reach out, or if it would be okay for you to reach out on his behalf? If it’s the latter, I’m not too sure about it.
But for him to reach out to her – Yes! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, floridagirlblue makes a very good point too.
Post # 4
I think it’s okay for him to reach out, but to not press it if she doesn’t respond. She cut contact with him to protect herself from the lifestyle he was living 15 years ago and has no sense that he chose a different path. He can explain how he turned his life around, has a loving significant other, and wants to reconnect with the family he has left. I think most people can cautiously hear out someone who made mistakes in their teenage years (I’m assuming the mistakes are more like drugs and less like murder/sex offenses).
Post # 5
It would be him. I was prepared to offer, if he had been blocked, but since he is not, I won’t be doing anything.
He just doesn’t like asking people for things, and is perfectly willing to be miserable if it means he isn’t bothering anyone. I’m hoping to get some opinions from outsiders to show him.
Post # 6
I think it would be okay. Just take it slowly and the first message not be too intense or full on, and also have no expectations. My dad had several half siblings after his father had some affairs and subsequently left my grandmother. My dad never wanted anything to do with them. After his father passed I suppose people thought times had changed, and his half sister reached out to him. Ten years later and hey are quite close now! So it can work. xo
Post # 7
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
I think it would be absolutely ok for him to reach out, but if she doesn’t respond or declines the offer, he’ll need to make sure he respects that.
Post # 8
I think it would be ok to reach out as long as he is prepared for rejection and won’t take it personally. She may still be carrying a lot of pain over her family’s past and might find the prospect of getting in touch too difficult to deal with emotionally.
Post # 9
I think it’s worth a shot and maybe she’ll be happy to see he’s turned his life around. However you shouldn’t be a part of it, even if he was blocked. I’ve been on the receiving end of that and I hated it. My cousin reached out to say my uncle/godfather missed me and just….nope. He’s a grown-ass man, if he wants to reconnect he can do it himself.
Post # 10
Life is short and regrets can be many, if he misses her her should contact her. Once he tells her where he is now in life hopefully she will be open to a relationship with him. If her only reason to cut ties was he was heading down the wrong path then that barrier is now gone. Plus they both were 15 years younger and life has moved on. Best of luck I hope it works out for you both.