Post # 17
Member
9948 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Etiquette Snob here… lol
I have always called my Aunts & Uncles by their “title” and name…
So yes, they will forever be Aunt Joan & Uncle David. I have to agree with your Grandmother… once upon a time to not do so would be considered disrespectful.
I was brought up to believe that one respected their elders, and only dropped a “title” of formality (Aunt, Uncle, Mr & Mrs etc) IF the person to whom you were addressing told you it was ok to do so…
Oftentimes, that naturally comes with age… so it isn’t wrong for an adult such as yourself to call Aunt Joan, just Joan… or your Hubby’s Mother Mrs Ashley, just Sally… if that is what they’ve told you they would be fine with.
Cause you mentioned her… I am curious, do you call your Grandmother … by her title “Gramma Jane” or is he Jane now too ?
Hope this helps,
Post # 18
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: August 2018 - Parklands, Quendon Hall
Mum’s side is indian so they are all ‘Name’ Masi, ‘Name’ Masur, or purely masi or masur (google it).
Aunts/ Uncles and Great Aunts on Dad’s side (white british) Aunty ‘Name’, Uncle ‘Name’.
I don’t think I could ever call any of them by just their names, I think it would seem disrespectful. But of course every family is different and if that kind of thing hasn’t been passed on to you it’s perfectly natural not to!
Post # 19
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
I never gave it much thought before but as a kid I used “aunt” or “uncle” with all of them. As I got older I dropped the “uncle” with my moms brother but still use it for everyone else (my dad’s sister and both of my parents aunts and uncles). I do feel like a little kid saying it but I was never very close to any of those relatives.
Post # 21
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
Always aunt & uncle. I’m Asian and the rules are pretty strict. If we’re related to them, they are addressed according to their birth order. e.g. I have an Aunt #2, Aunt #3, and Aunt #4 because my mother’s the oldest of four girls. Husbands correspond – Uncle #3 because he’s married to my Aunt #3 and so on.
If we’re not actually related to them – because we call our parents’ friends aunts and uncles too – they go by “Title Name”: Auntie Hazel and Uncle Francis, etc.
Post # 22
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
When I refer to them now, I often drop the Aunt/Uncle. When I’m actually speaking to them though, the titles are there. My mom still uses the titles for many of her aunts and uncles even she she’s talking about them to other family. ex. I spoke with Uncle Mike last week.
I’ve never heard DH use their titles, I don’t know if he ever did.
Post # 23
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
My aunt’s on my mom’s side were always “auntie”, dad’s side was Aunt, but now I call them by name most of the time. sometimes the auntie/uncle comes out. I only have one uncle that I see with any regularity though. It’s a little weird being almost 32 and saying “auntie cathy can you blah blah blah please?” lol
Post # 24
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
I think it’s highly disrespectful. My Aunt corrected me once when I used only her first name by mistake.
Post # 25
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@This Time Round: You use gramma as a title with their first names?
For me it was always just Grandpa and Grandma as their names. Ditto for family members. I remember my mom having to call my Dad’s Mom for a school assignment. She had to get some names, because on one side and for the great grandparents he just knew them as Grandma, Greatgrandpa, etc.
Post # 26
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
For my chinese aunts and uncles, I call them by the appropriate shushu/shenshen/etc (i.e. younger uncle, younger aunt, older uncle, older aunt). For my non-chinese aunts and uncles, I just call them uncle/aunt (first name).
Post # 27
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
I call all of my aunts and uncles “Tio” and “Tia” (aunt and uncle in Spanish). In my culture, it would be disrespectful not to!
Post # 28
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
@This Time Round: I was raised that way too, and as a kid and teenager I always referred to my aunts/uncles as Aunt so-and-so. I also called my friends parents by Mr and Mrs Smith until they told me to use their first name. I just feel that there are different dynamics with our relationships now that I am an adult too. Now, I would never say “Mr Smith” to my friend’s parents.
lol, I would never call my grandma by her first name. I just call her “Gram”. I DO feel like that would be disrespectful – similar to calling my mom or dad by their first names. I think that would offend her, especially since she is the one who called me our on it in the first place!
Post # 29
Member
9948 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
To
@Sea_Ashley: Yup we are on the same page.
Gramma was just that…
But my kids were fortunate to grow up in a household with both sets of Grandparents on each side … so to distinguish them apart when talking about them to others they’d call one Gramma T-Surname and the other Gramma R-Surname… (altho I did know some families where it would have been Gramma June & Gramma Alice). BUT Never would they ever be addressed by their first names… they’d would forever be, just Gramma (or Gran, Granny, whatever the pet name chosen was)
To
@AB Bride: – see above. I think that explains it.
Post # 30
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
I have always called them by their first names. Some of my cousins refer to aunts and uncles with the title first, others don’t. If they ever asked me to call them “Uncle Joe,” then I would. I don’t remember my parents ever telling us we have to call them with a title first, or we may have just stopped as we got older.
On a personal note, I find it strange when my nephew adds the “Aunt” in front of my name. Maybe it’s because I’m only 10 years older than he is, but I’d prefer just my name!
Post # 31
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
I always call them Aunt Cindy or Uncle Jim. It’s a respectful thing in my family, If I called them by their names they would probably think I was being uppity or something lol.
I call my grandparents Grama or Grampa, etc.
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