(Closed) How do you respond when you're talking about marriage and SO says..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

“So if nothing will change, why can’t we get married since it’s important to me?”

Post # 4
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t know what to say.  I know some people don’t want to get married but that doesn’t mean they don’t care for you.

 

I know my roommate wants to get married, she is on Pinterest always pinning wedding related stuff.  I asked her if her and her boyfriend talked about being married and she just said “OH, well we think our relationship is fine now, why change it?”  I don’t know if she is just saying that because it’s what he tells her.  He is also one of my roommates, so they live together as well.  I kinda asked her when will you decide to marry, when your relationship isn’t good?

 

 

Post # 5
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

In what context does he say it?  Readinh what he says – there is the word “when” in there.  A “when” is not an “if”.

 

Post # 6
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

@2PeasinaPod:  

“So if nothing will change, why can’t we get married since it’s important to me?”

 

I lovvvve this response! Bingo!

 

OP, you could also bring up the many legal and financial advantages and protections to being married. If he were in the hospital, you could sign off on things for him, etc. etc. If you live in the U.S., there also are tax advantages.

Post # 8
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would say this: 

Marriage is the highest honor that can be given to a relationship. 

It also involves legal protection for each of you, for instance, in a health scare emergency, usually only a spouse or family member can be involved with the patient. 

Getting married is telling the entire world that you belong to each other for life.

Post # 9
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

When a guy says “nothing will change” or “it’s just a piece of paper,” it always makes me think that they’re basically saying marriage amounts to a hill of beans.

Alright then, if it doesn’t mean anything, then let’s get on with it. If nothing is going to change, then what are we waiting for? If I ask you to pick up a tube of toothpaste at the store for me, that doesn’t mean anything either. So that’s why you don’t debate with me and you just get the toothpaste, already. If I ask you to pass the salt, that doesn’t mean anything, either. That’s why you pass me the salt and you don’t debate with me about it.

It’s the biggest load of crock when they say “nothing will change.” You’d better believe things will change and it is a damned well significant step forward in a relationship, otherwise they wouldn’t be putting up a fuss.

Argh! Men!

😛

Post # 11
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

LOL! I hope it helps!! Really, you have the upper hand here. He is talking total nonsense and once you get your comebacks ready, it will be easy for you to defeat his weak protests with your superior logic. Haha!

😉

Post # 12
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

“I understand marriage is not important to you but it is for me.  It is a deal breaker for me.”

Your day to day doesn’t change because you are married, that is true.  Things do change tho…  Marriage is a commitment in front of your family and friends (God if you are religious.)  A mortgage is a commitment to a bank.

Post # 14
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@KJM33:  

“Nothing will change when we get married. It’s basically like we’re married since we live together.” >>>>> So why can’t we just get married then? It is very important to me and here’s why….

“It’s not like I’m not committed, the house we just bought [in March] is a HUGE committment.” [Been together five years, 30 and 31 years old. Please no lectures about real estate before marriage..] >>>>> I appreciate that, but marriage is important to me, here’s why….

The ‘here’s why’ part is up to you. Although I don’t think that you should have to argue as to why you want to be married, it might help to put your reasons into words. Luckily my guy and I are on the same page about getting married. You said he’s on track to marriage so that is ok right?

Post # 15
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Mine says that to him we are already married. So wth ? LOL

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