(Closed) How do you say “No Children” without actually saying “NO CHILDREN”??? lol

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

People always say to address it only to the adults, but people don’t seem to actually get that. What about something like “Two seats have been reserved in your honor?”

Somebody posted that on here. Can’t remember who, but it was a thread similar to this.

Post # 4
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

what were doing is this: say youre inviting sue and bob.  but sue and bob have 4 kids. while we will be addressing the invite to sue and bob only, on the response card we are also putting “we have reserved 2 seats in your honor. ___ of 2 will/will not be attending”

if that doesnt get the point across i dont know what will!

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You need to do two things. Yes, address the envelopes only to the adults invited. Then, after the invites have gone out you call everyone with children to a) make sure they got the invite and b) make sure they got the details about childcare because it is an adult only party. Have the list of professional childcare contacts and phone numbers beside you. Anyone who understands will be grateful for your courteous call. Anyone who respectfully declines the invite because they have children and prefer their childcare at home, totally understand. Anyone who huffs and puffs that they can’t bring their children and so they aren’t coming, too? You say, “Aww, my fiancé and I will miss you. Thanks for letting me know.” And then you end the call. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

“we have reserved ___ seats in your honor. ___ of ___ will/will not be attending”

Post # 6
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Mrs.tobe:  haha, I think we’ve all read enough posts on this forum to know that there will always be a few people who don’t “get the hint” that the names on the envelope correlates to the people invited. And all you need is one person to call you saying “Me and my husband and little mia are so excited to come to your wedding”.  Then you’ll have to deal with the awkwardness on a one-on-one basis.  Which can suck, ya? 

Unfortunately for both of us, I haven’t had the pleasure of having any experience with my own wedding invitations. 😉  But I think the “adult only reception” is a pretty standard way to say it.  Is there open bar?  You can always say something about the alcohol, so no kids under 21 or something? 

Post # 7
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

oops. said it didnt post. sorry for double post Cool

Post # 8
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh ya, I like the “we have reserved 2 seats in your honor.  ____ of 2 will/will not be attending” idea better.  Way more subtle/classy.   

Post # 9
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

also, if you’re having a website, put something like “Our wedding will be celebrated with a reception including dinner, drinks, and dancing. If you need help arranging childcare for the evening, please contact us with questions.”

our nieces & nephews will be invited, but we’re undecided on the rest so we’re using this to discourage lol

Post # 10
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

At the bottom of our invitations, we added “Adult reception to follow.”  Somehow, leaving out “only” seems less exclusive or forceful, but gets the point across just as well. 

Personally, as for child care, I don’t feel obligated to provide babysitters.  That’s what being a parent means– either figuring our your own child care, or making the decision to stay home.  If a parent needs a babysitting reference, I’m happy to give one, but I have enough to worry about as the bride.  (I know this is easier said that done for some brides who have lots of young nieces, nephews etc.  Fortunately, my fiance and I are the first in our families to get married, so we don’t have any relatives who are little kids.  A few of our friends have babies/toddlers, but they are looking forward to getting away for an evening.)

Post # 11
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Also, I feel a little different about having a infant there.  I just didn’t want lots of kids running around, but if a new mom needs to bring her baby, it’s not a big deal… as long as he/she doesn’t cry during the vows!

Post # 12
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our invites said “Adult Reception to Follow” on them. The envelopes were addressed to Mr. and Mrs. _____.  Also, the RSVP card said “2 seats have been reserved in your honor.” My guests got the point, no one was confused, no one tried to bring kids, and I didn’t have to make any phone calls to explain myself. We had no issues whatsoever. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just put it on our website under our FAQ section…

Are children invited?
Unfortunately due to space limitationswe will be having an “adults only” reception. The only children that will be included are those who are part of our wedding party as well as any out of town guests. We hope you understand. If anyone needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you.

As for the invitations, ours will just be made out to the people invited (i.e. Mr. & Mrs. Whatever). If they reply back that they will be attending with more than who the invite was addressed to, they will receive an email from me directing them to our website.

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@UpstateCait: Oh, thanks for posting your wording!  I’ve been going back and forth over what I should post on my website, so this gives me a much better idea!  Thanks!

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