(Closed) How do you say “No Children” without actually saying “NO CHILDREN”??? lol

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mrs.tobe: LOL exactly!  Just because you have room for 300 doesn’t mean you can afford for 300 people to show up.. unless they would look to stand the entire time and just *look* at the food. 😉

Post # 18
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MissHoneyBun:

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST DID FOR MINE. I DO NOT WANT A BUNCH OF KIDS RUNNING AROUND EVEN IF IT IS AT A PUBLIC PARK. I WOULD RATHER THE DAY BE ALL ADULTS.

Post # 19
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Mrs.tobe:Traditional etiquette states that only those listed on the invitation are actually invited to the event.  I would personally, follow the rules, and then deal with people who didn’t follow the rules individually. It is rude to assume that people would ever be so rude as to bring uninvited guests (even though we know some would). 

It smacks of assuming your loved ones would be rude and need the warning by printing a warning/adults only/adult reception to follow. 

If someone was rude and responded for 3 when only 2 had been invited, you would be within your rights to tell them there had been some misunderstanding and that you won’t be able to accomodate junior/their aunt sally/friend at the wedding.  It is also much more private.

 

Post # 20
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@cllyons: Yup!  That’s what I did too!  We had NO problems with people adding uninvited guests either!!  And we were worried about that because all of FI’s cousins have a ton of kids, but nothing happened!

Post # 21
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@crazycatlady: first off, welcome to the boards. unfortunately (as hundreds of posts here on WB on this subject can attest) people OFTEN invite or try to invite someone who was not named on the envelope. The words of Emily Post carry much less weight nowadays and clarification early on can lessen headaches later on. people are definitely brazen enough to tack on extra people and throw a tantrum when the bride and groom try to explain that their +14’s aren’t invited.

Post # 22
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@elliestan: I totally hear you that people don’t know/don’t follow the rules.  But I prefer to take the etiquette high road, and to assume that people will do the right thing, even when knowing that they probably won’t.

I would rather call up 50 people (though please kill me if the number is that high) and privately tell them they have made an error, rather then potentially offend people who will do the right thing.

As an invite recipient I would prefer that the hosts don’t assume me rude, which is really what putting a blanket warning is saying.  Since we can’t trust you to do the right thing, we’d better make it clear to you that no kids are invited. 

I also think that invites should be positive for who IS invited, rather then negative for who is NOT invited. 

 

Thanks for the welcome.

Post # 23
Member
3467 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I put

2 seats reserved in your honor AND

___ of 2 adults will be attending

ALONG with

“We look forward to enjoying this adult only affair with you”

AND STILL HAD SOMEONE PUT THIER KID ON THE RSVP

Put 2 in the blank spot and wrote a 3rd name down!

 

Post # 24
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@crazycatlady: I think you make a good point, the reason we struggle so much with the wording is because its something we don’t want to say to everyone. Its just that you know a few people will assume kids are invited even if they are not on the invite.

We’re having family children only, and the others will get only the parents names on the invites.

I suspect awkward questions will go to my mum rather than me which she’s fine with as its always easier to be firm on someones behalf.

Post # 25
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We did the “Adult Reception to Follow” on the bottom of our invitation. I only got one phone call of someone wanting to bring their kids. She was denied because we wanted to maintain the adult reception atmosphere.

Post # 26
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would put, “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor” or “Adults Only” on the website.. We put “Adults only” on our information card and people still brought their kids, I was so irritated.

Post # 27
Member
1799 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Mrs.tobe: I put

 

“Due to the small and intimate nature of the wedding seating is reserved for Adults only”

 

Everyone got the hint 🙂

Post # 28
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@UpstateCait:

Thanks for that wording  I have been having a hard time figuring out a way to say that (on our wedding website) because we are making exceptions.  My little niece and his 2 nephews will be in the wedding party. We also have friends who may travel from Germany and we can’t ask them to leave their 2 year old at home so far away. 🙂

Post # 30
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

I actually filled in the names on all the RSVP cards.  The only children we invited were the children of my out-state guests and my FI’s nieces & nephews plus the ring bearer.  However, I did allow guests to bring their children to the ceremony.  No one crashed the reception.  But I did add 2 last minute guests:  one of my out-of-town cousins brought a friend, but she asked ahead and told me she wouldn’t be offended if I said no and my dad’s cousin who was visiting from out of town . . . I didn’t want to appear to be doing a gift grab, so we didn’t invite him initially and told him we’d love to have him.

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