(Closed) How do you say “No…I don’t want to be your bridesmaid”???

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Why aren’t you comfortable saying you can’t afford it? That would be the easiest way. Another way would be to say that you wouldn’t be able to devote the time and energy needed to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man (really, all a Bridesmaid or Best Man has to do is buy a dress and show up, but she’ll probably get the hint).

Post # 4
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would go with something along the lines of I am honored you thought of me but I am taking on new responsibilities at work and I don’t feel comfortable being a part of the wedding party without giving 100%. Do you live quite a distance from her? I would play that up if you do.

As Statutorygrape said, she will probably take the hint. Beware she may take it personally.

Post # 5
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

yeah, i think statutorygrape is right.  the easiest way to deal with it is to just say you can’t put the money/time/effort into it.  i imagine that this is true, anyway, if you’ve been in 3 weddings this past year!  even if that’s not the case, remember, honesty isn’t always the best policy (especially when it’s “i really don’t want to be in your wedding, and i don’t consider you a close friend, so why are you asking me anyway?!”), and it’s just better to be nice.

Post # 6
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

I doubt she’ll be offended.  Honestly, it sounds to me like another bridesmaid backed out and she’s scrambling for plan b.  Why else would she wait to ask you till the weekend of dress shopping?

Post # 7
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would say that Im too busy. have to much stuff going on right now and would rather say no now then have to back out later.

 

Post # 9
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally agree with everyone…it’s completely ok to say no, you don’t have the money, or you’re too busy at work or whatever.  I told one of my old college roommates that I just couldn’t give her the time that she would need right now, so I didn’t want to be a lousy bridesmaid…so I just wanted to politely decline. 

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have said no to being a bridesmaid before.  I just said I had a lot going on in my life and I didn’t feel that I could properly be there for her as she deserved.  It worked well and I didn’t feel guilty about it at all.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, if you tell her  you can’t afford it, then take a trip to Mexico…hmm…

 

Post # 12
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just tell her that you have alot on your plate right now and you don’t want to disappoint her so it is best she ask somebody else. That is pretty much what my aunt told me when she declined…let me paste her e-mail here:

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials Thank you for considering me as one of the wedding parties but there are several changes that is occurring in my life most of which I am not even sure of and I don’t know where I will be come next year and I would hate that my plans interfere with such an incredible moment in your life so alas I would have to decline as one of the bridesmaid! I hold in loving vibrations that everything come together beautiful for you both with ease and grace.

Post # 13
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Don’t tell her it’s for financial reasons unless it really is….to avoid the possibility of her negotiating with you about buying the dress, ect.  Just a smiple:  I’m flattered, but I just have too much going on right now”  is perfect.

Post # 14
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with PPs that I would politely say how much you would love to be a part of it, but that your schedule/life changes will prevent you.  If you say money is the issue, she can fix that, but she can’t change your schedule.

Snaps for you that you’re getting out of it instead of saying yes when you don’t want to.  SIL asked me, and I really wanted to say no but with all my siblngs in the wedding, I felt I had to say yes, and it was awful.

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wait, did she actually ask you to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man via text? And honestly it sounds like you were an afterthought if it’s this last minute, maybe someone else backed out. I would be too offended to say yes b/c of both of these things and politely decline. I would CALL her and say that you are extremely flattered, but absolutely cannot make that strong a commitment at this time.

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