Post # 1
My Aunt (moms sister) is throwing me a bridal shower this April. Shes a very very nice lady but shes…..well….not what you would call the brightest crayon in the box. Our predicament was when she wanted to throw my bachelorette party (stripper and all) and have my family there too. My mom was horrified that she would even think such a thing. My mother said there aint no way in hell I would feel comftorable at my daughters bachelorette party! Also my aunt is almost 40 years old, so this is not like we are close in age.
The “new” predicament: After putting up a good fight she has decided to just throw the bridal shower. For some reason though, she is all about me getting tons of money out of people. I tried telling her that bridal showers are for gifts not money and money is usually what people will give at the wedding. I also tried to explain to her that you dont put where you registered at in your wedding invites but she didnt get why you dont do that either. Well heres the best part, she actually, really wants to put in my bridal invites “Gifts welcome but Money Preferred”. NO WAY!!! I am so horrified of my guests getting that! I honestly would just rather throw my own party and say she did it! I tried explaining to her that its really not necessary but I dont think she gets it. I know she means very well but what do I do????? HELP GIRLS!
Post # 3
Oh yeah that is really not the way to do it. You just have to tell her, point blank I think. Even if she doesn’t “get it”, show her some websites showing this is the “right” way and telling her that phrasing the invites that way will make you look greedy and you really don’t want that! Tell her you WANT to be able to open actual gifts and thank the person for the item. But yeah, yikes
Oh yeah and my mom got me my stripper for my bachelorette party. It was weird (and i wasn’t drunk yet which is WHY it was weird), but whatever, haha. My mom’s kinda crazy like that and so is my aunt so I totally get it. =]. My mom even encouraged him to get down to his g-string. Apparently he thought she’d only be ok with the bun-huggers >.<
Post # 4
I would tell her straight up: If you do that, I will be mortified. I appreciate that you’re trying to help me out by throwing me a shower. I know that you just want the best for me, but that wording will offend my friends.
Is there any way your mom can talk to her? I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I would be stressed too!
Post # 5
I like Blueshoes2’s suggestion of what to say. Also, I think on a shower invite it is okay to put down where the bride is registered (as long as you are not sending the invite yourself).
Do you have another aunt or relative who could co-host and tone down your aunt’s out-there ideas?
Post # 6
I’ve received a bridal shower invitation that was a bit like that…it said instead of gifts to please bring $50 to donate to the purchase of their wedding china! I RSVP’ed no to that one…I barely even knew the girl and was not going to give her $50 after that!
I would definitely try to talk to her about it and ask another aunt or relative or friend to co-host with her…someone you can really trust and explain the situation to her. Then tell the crazy aunt that your aunt has been asking about throwing a shower as well and it would really mean a lot if she could assist with the planning of this one.
Also, don’t be afraid to offend your aunt on this one. Think of it like this: would you much rather offend one aunt by telling her that’s a bad idea or offend every single one of your guests by allowing an invitation like that to go out? I think you have to go with the lesser of the two evils here and offend the aunt. I’m guessing she won’t even be offended because she seems like the type to not catch on to subtly. I don’t think it wouldn’t even phase her if you were really blunt. Good luck!
Post # 7
Wow! That’s pretty intense. You definitely need to just say it to her. Based on your description of her, it doesn’t sound like she’ll be offended if you do. Maybe find a cute invitation that someone has posted on here and show it to her as an example. Just make sure to include that you deinitely do not want the money comment on it!
Post # 8
I second everything said here, and I have to add: blame it on your friends. Say, “I know you want to do it this way, but my friends will really be offended/hurt/weirded out if we do it like that. Everyone I know has done some variation on (this), and (this) is what they will be expecting.” That way it isn’t that she is massively tacky, just that “things are done differently now”.