(Closed) How Do You Say “Sparkles Aren’t My Thang”?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

could always sabotage the shoes with spraypaint and spray them that nice coloured blue and go woops n pull out option b! πŸ˜€

Post # 4
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Well, they are only shoes and no one will notice but I understand your frustration…Why did she ask your opinion if she had made up her mind and didn’t want to hear what you thought? That’s what would bother me more than the actual shoes!

I think the sequined ones are really cute (although I too like the other’s better and can see how it would fit better with your wedding theme) but I don’t think this one’s worth fighting for or losing sleep over…No one will notice, I promise!!! 

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well you gave them creative license, so I say let it go. I doubt the sparkly shoes really sparkle THAT much. I like #2 a LOT more but I do think you should just let it go cuz it won’t be noticeable or a big deal.

Post # 6
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This is so passive aggressive but: you could buy Option 2 and have on hand so that when she takes a look at the wedding and feels mismatched with her shoes.. BAM. Option 2 is ready to go as a ‘gift’.

Or you could send her pictures of your inspiration just as a nice share if she hasn’t seen them and maybe she’ll realize how out of place the shoes are before the big day.

Post # 7
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Unless you gave semi-specific directions to Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man like “you need blue flats made of x material” I think it’s kind of hard to tell her she can’t wear the shoes.  I really doubt anyone will be paying attention to her shoes though πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with Terrier. If you gave them the go ahead to pick their own shoes, then that’s what she did. She has to wear them again. I don’t think they will be that noticeable anyway.

Post # 9
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I second what TrailMix said. I don’t understand why she would bother to ask your opinion when she clearly knew she was going to choose option A, anyway. Personally, if I was in her situation and you told me that you liked option B, and explained why (like you did), I would NEVER choose option A. They’re only shoes; I wouldn’t go against my friend- the bride’s- wishes, over some stupid shoes. But that’s just me.

As far as the whole how you dress to go to clubs thing- that doesn’t always mean that’s what you would want for your wedding. (Example, I have never liked the color purple. Ever. Guess what color bridesmaid dresses I picked?- Eggplant/Dark PLUM!) πŸ™‚ 

Since you gave them creative license, I’d just let her wear the sequined shoes. I doubt anyone will notice, especially since they are flats. You already stated your opinion, and she clearly doesn’t care.  It’s not worth fighting with her over, and causing yourself stress.

Post # 10
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think maybe she was asking you expecting you to gush over how awesome Pair A is, and when that didn’t happen she felt awkward.  Maybe in everyday life Pair A is your style?  If she’s not married, then she doesn’t get it.  But maybe she also thinks that Pair A are more wearable in her everyday life?  We always talk about the dresses being rewearable, but what about the shoes?  I think you should just let it go.  She likes them, which makes her happy.  And a happy Bridesmaid or Best Man is much better to have around than a sad one!

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m thinking she was leaning towards option A, and when you said you weren’t going for bling at your wedding, she got a little defensive. Personally, I’m a bigger fan of option A, and option B really isn’t my style, but you did give her creative license. It’s tough to take that back now…especially after she already bought option A. I would try to let it go…no one is going to be paying attention to her anyway…they’re going to be looking at YOU :o)

Post # 13
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well personally I like Option B, but that’s cuz I’m not fond of sequins, but as you say that you want a mismatch non-force, you should let her choose. Making her wear the one you want is kinda like forcing her no?

Post # 14
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wouldn’t stress on it. Maybe the sequined pair are like half the price of the other pair and if she can rewear them, then it’s an even bigger bang for her buck, but that’s just me guessing. She probably doesn’t even realize how it makes her look/sound by acting the way she did. I know that sometimes I’ll ask people their opinion, but then once I hear it I realize exactly what my decision is and sometimes it’s not the same choice as them.

Post # 15
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

You know, in the grand scheme of your love and marriage, her shoes are barely a blip on the radar. But, yes. It. would. piss. me. off.

Post # 16
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Really your only option is to let it go as you told them to do their own thing. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I hardly ever notice BM’s shoes when I attend a wedding. Of course with the pictures- maybe tell the photographer to keep her feet hidden (LOL) as it will stand out a lot more in the pictures then on the actual day.

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